Monday, November 16, 2009

On again, off again

Sometimes breaks are needed...a timeout to get your head unwrapped from all the demanding pressures that "threaten to undo one's sanity". I'm sobered by how many times I've felt I needed a break since I got back from my August trip. Change can do that to you and the changes have been coming at me fast and furious! I can't seem to keep up [and neither can my computer, for that matter].

Anyway I'm going to write some therapeutic free verse over the next few months [when my computer will allow it]. Free verse is my breath of fresh air...my reach for sanity...writing like this provides me with those few moments when I feel most alive...and I am so thankful for the freedom I have to express myself through the written word!

Unwind
I'm thinkin' I need another break from all this insanity.
The mind games and manipulations threaten to undo me...
i look into the future and only see it vaguely
so i've got to hang on for now, because
to jump without a parachute...Hold up!...pause...
Now take a moment...are you about to make
or break yourself? i know i need to think of what's at stake...
but seriously i'm thinking 'bout jumping off the cliff,
not a real one silly, just the cliff of conformity...stiff
with age, my joints are aching...is that lactic acid
building up? do i simply need a good massage to rid
my body of these toxic emotions that lead me to think
that i'd rather take my chances than continue to stink
like rotting meat left out too long...no...it's not over
something new is about to begin...but when?! Stir
my imagination with the winds of change. Just keep
it up and soon i'll take flight. No, we'll not weep,
for change is often the catalyst of renewal,
and thank God i've got hope 'cus i'm no fool.
I'll someday soon wrap my mind and heart
around this one and and fall forward with a start,
past the fear that holds me back. i think, therefore
i regret, but if I listen to my heart, and soar
instead, out beyond the trepidations, i may find
that I can finally let go and unwind.
-tkaeu

(this piece is dedicated to Hilary Phillips-November 2009...
here's believing you'll soar over what's lies ahead
{like a breeze girlie!}
and come back sooner, than later,
to settle down once again somewhere safe and warm!)

Monday, September 7, 2009

I must be a socialist and "horror of horrors" my parents must be socialists too (though undeclared, of course)

So what about you? Are you potentially a socialist, too, and don't even know it??!! Preposterous??!

Well, in case you're concerned about these questions and/or conclusions in the above title, please take time to read on...I implore you to read the comments/speech below and ask yourself how many times you've heard your own parents, grandparents, teachers, relatives "indoctrinate you" with these very same values, thoughts, beliefs. And oh no!! could it possibly be that even you have espoused the same "political, leftist rhetoric" to your very own children?!!

Just take this following test...read the speech below and ask yourself "How often have I heard these things said to me or have said them to my own children, niece, nephew, grandchild, etc?"??
______________________

Hello everyone - how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I'm glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday - at 4:30 in the morning. Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year. Now I've given lots of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility. I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn. I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox. I've talked about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunity they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world - and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schoools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents, and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
And that's what I want to focus on today; the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide. Maybe you could be a good writer - maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper - but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor - maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine - but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.
And no matter what you want to do with your life - I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of the military? You're going to need a good education for every one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future. You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy. We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that - if you quit school - you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork. I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in. So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse. But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams.

My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in the country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends pressuring you to do things you know aren't right. But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life - what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going at home - that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.
That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America. Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory so it took him much longer - hundreds of extra hours - to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall.

And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go to college.

Jazmin, Andoni, and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education - and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself, so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to do it. I want you to really work at it.
I know that sometimes you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. That's ok. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. JK Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you - you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you are stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust - a parent, grandparent, or teacher, a coach or counselor - and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals. And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, nd you feel like other people have given up on you - don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago founded Google, Twitter, and Facebook, and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries are you going to make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you books, equipment, and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down - don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it. Thank-you, God bless you, and God bless America.
Back to School Event Arlington, Virginia September 8, 2009
______________________

So what can be said about the comments made to students across America by President Obama? Is the above speech socialist propaganda? An attempt at brainwashing by a man who could usher in the antichrist? An plot for mind control?? I mean the nerve! Our PRESIDENT (not your local sex offender) wants to speak a message of exhortation, motivation, encouragement, challenge and inspiration to students all across America. Such an uproar! Such hoopla! Over what?! All I have to say is people are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, but I seriously have to question the motivation behind people removing children from school and speaking so adamantly against the President of the United States addressing students. We should be proud that he is willing and desires to take the time to do so.

As far as the comments above about "being socialist and accusing my parent's of being closet socialists". Well...all I can say is that my parents taught me the majority of the values and information spoken of in President Obama's speech as I was growing up. Every day I stand on a unit in juvenile detention, in one form or another, I am attempting to convey the message above spoken by President Obama.

I keep hearing so many speak of President Obama as a socialist...particularly since the plan for him to speak directly to our nation's children. So if President Obama's desire to give the above speech to children across America is even more proof of his socialist agenda, than I have to admit that I, too, am a socialist and so was my upbringing.
________________________

Now before you get "your panties in a twist", I will finish this post by saying "all my comments about socialism in this post" are what you call SARCASM people!!!! President Obama isn't a socialist. I am not a socialist. My parents are not a socialists. Most of you and your parents are most likely not socialists. (Though, I have to admit, that if you really look into the history of socialism and socialist beliefs, IT'S NOT ALL EVIL. Believe it or not, there were even Christian socialists in America and the original pledge of allegiance for the United States of America was written by Francis Bellamy, a baptist minister and proclaimed Christian Socialist.)

This may also be time for some of you to do a "deep breathing exercise", particularly for those of you who have found your heart racing after reading this post. I truly had no intention of inducing heart attacks or panic attacks with this post, but I'm reminded that somewhere in one of my many boxes there is a plague with my name on it "Tammie - Truth Seeker". So be it.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Troops battle not only the Taliban, but the opium trade

I heard this news story on "Here and Now" today about heroin addiction and found it interesting (considering I work with so many teens with potential drug addiction problems). You may find it interesting as well...take a listen to this interview with Richie Farrell-once addicted to heroin and now a successful journalist, author, professor, and screenplay writer. I am excited to read his memoir and possibly share it with the young people I work with in juvenile detention.

As I listened to this interview, I also couldn't help but think of Afghanistan and the opium trade that surrounds our own U.S. soldiers and most likely touches their lives daily. Hopefully these two stories about Aghanistan opium trade and heroin addiction do not come together for our soldiers in the years to come. If they do...talk about the costs of war!!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Have you heard??






Moranda Hern and Kaylei Deakin...have you heard of these two young women? Are you aware of what they are up to?? Well...they are on a mission to provide support and inspiration to young females ages 13 to 18 who are from military families. They are in the process of planning a conference called the Sisterhood of the Traveling BDUs...their desire is for young women to unite, be inspired and to be leaders in their communities. Check out their Youtube video and their project info on dosomething.org. Props to NPR and All Thing Considered for covering this story and spreading the word!

I am unsure how much progress these two young ladies have made thus far, but I hope to make an attempt to contact them and determine whether or not there is any way to support them in their dream to make a difference. I will keep you updated.

You may wonder why I would be interested or drawn to this story...well for a couple reasons...
1)here are two young women wanting to uplift and inspire other young women who are possibly hurting
2)my friend, Chelle's daughter, Hilary, is currently in the military
3)teens doing something positive

If you are interested in learning more about this project, you may want to check out this blog post of Air Guard Spouse, as well.

U Go Girls!!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Freedom?



freedom-available to some and an enigma to many...
...from whom and what? are we really free?
are we able to do as we please? do we bend
our knee to God or fame or self and spend
our life chasing a fruitless existence only to wake
and find our truth to be a lie? will we take
before being taken like Madoff? or sleep
to never be waken? Michael, what deep
pain were you attempting to escape in this life
and where are you now? what about the strife
and bitterness that breeds cancer and sadly
all the hatred that still lingers USA, while gradually
the freedoms that bring us together tear us apart?
are we really celebrating with a free heart?
tkaeu 07/09

We do have freedoms to celebrate! But we also have much work ahead...as a country and individually. You can't really change a country without people allowing their hearts to be changed. Some thoughts that come to mind:
Respecting other's differences
Allowing others the freedom to live life as they desire
The Golden Rule - treating others as we want to be treated

Yet it is sobering to then reflect on these statements as well:
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit his very self? (Luke 9:24-25)
...be transformed by the renewing of your mind... (Romans 12:2)



When I feel the most free...
being outdoors.

Maybe this is because it is also when I feel closest to God.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Itching to get back to writing...

Where have I been? Focused on healing my knee, improving my health and my attitude.

My goal is to write more often...but most likely less on each blog. Honestly I think shorter is better! It is just easier to follow. Anyway I'm still attempting to find the focus of this blog...so excuse me as I flounder around trying out new things.

My family is on FACEBOOK and they've asked me to get my own facebook page and join them. I have yet to do so though, because I've already put so much time and effort into this site, my wordpress blog and myspace...now to begin again on facebook?? Eventually I may find a way to take the three places I blog and combine them into one or connect them to facebook. I just have not found the time or motivation to begin again on yet another site. Just how does one manage so many sites and actually "live" life?!? There is much I have yet to figure out in life!

Oh I recently ran across a new musician that I encourage you to check out! REGINA SPECTOR!

Though I am a great lover of music and have at times memorized the words to countless songs I sung in high school age performances of one kind or another, I cannot for the life of me remember the lyrics to popular songs! It drives me crazy!!! So naturally I could relate to the comments made during an interview with Regina on NPR about forgetting the words to a favorite song. (here's a bit of the lyrics to Et pronounced "eat" and you can check out Regina on youtube singing Et on her new cd Far)


It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can't believe it
You were always singing along
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can't remember
You try to feel the beat

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, eet, eet, eet
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeteeet, eet, eet, eet

I was amused and intrigued by the free-flowin, yet deep, and at the same time, exhuberant way this musician expresses herself in her words and through her music.

Regina was born in Moscow in 1980. Her family is jewish. Her mom is a music professor and her father plays violin and is a photographer. Her family left the USSR in 1989 and lived in Austria and Italy and eventually settled in New York. Regina began playing the piano when she was young and studied classical piano when she was 17 years old. She began songwriting when she was 16 years old. You can read more about her at wikipedia.

A bit from the NPR interview with David Greene on Morning Edition...Spektor is a petite woman with striking red hair and bright lipstick. She writes about what's on her mind, and her music often defies explanation. But she says that doesn't concern her. "If I could explain every word of this song, then I wouldn't have been very inspired when I wrote it. I would have been more crafty and intellectual," she says. "I would really hate it if I could call up Kafka or Hemingway or Salinger and any question I could throw at them they would have an answer. That's the magic when you read or hear something wonderful — there's no one that has all the answers."

However, that's not to say she doesn't want people to look for deeper meaning behind her songs. "It's not like I have all the answers," she says.

You can listen to the NPR interview and/or check out this video...Laughing With is one of my favorites on the Far cd...though each song has its own unique message and makes me smile. =D I was unable to download the videos for whatever reason (maybe I'm out of practice).

In case you have difficulty understanding the chorus lyrics to "Laughing With" as I did...here are the words...but check out the video because the entirety of the song is extremely thought provoking.

*Chorus*
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

If you think belief in God is a joke...then you've never really faced hard times in your life. Listening to the lyrics of Laughing With gives me chills. It is pretty amazing to think that she is singing these lyrics on mainstream stations.

Ok at this point in the post you may be thinking...shorter posts?!? Well...I've never been really good at saying what I want to say in as few words as possible so...all in due time...lol.

This post is dedicated to music lovers everywhere who can't remember the words to their favorite songs & the subsequent AWE felt of those who can :)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hope in renewal?

Throughout the last year many "descriptive" remarks have been made in an attempt to define or declare or criticize whom people, from all walks of life, surmise the man, Barack Obama, to be...

My focus in this post is on that part of him that is "real" (known mainly to his family and closest friends)...most likely that he is a man with strengths and weaknesses, a man who laughs and cries and farts and burps just like anyone else, a man who has faced losses and triumphs, who makes mistakes and blunders on occasion, and also a man who has made, and we pray, will continue to make intelligent, determined, passionate decisions to challenge the world around him, as he challenges himself (and us), to strive for more than status quo.

I do not know Barack Obama personally, and most likely never will, but I am curious and interested in him, not just as our president, but as a man. My curiousity about him springs from his roots and his aspirations. I hope to follow his days, as our President, as closely as my time will allow. I know I will have to sort through all types of rhetoric and propaganda and media spin to determine for myself what lies beneath Barack Obama's polished and poised exterior, to determine how he has accomplished and may hopefully continue to (and inspire others to) accomplish "the unexpected and seemingly impossible".

What he is like as a human being...the human side (or possibly spiritual side) of him, his compassion for others, and his vision of "life as service to others", making a difference in the world around us, is what attracts me to his persona and ideals as I'm continually drawn to life "outside the box", despite my own failures and personal struggles with cynicism, unbelief, regrets, unforgiveness, and fears. When I consider the direction my life has taken...I ask "is this it?" Am I always only to do what I think is the right thing to do at the time, only to discover later, that there was so much more to the experience that what I realized or recognized? How much of a risk am I willing to take to see the fullfillment of what I believe are my dreams/longings? How much does my thought life hamper my willingness to live the life I desire?

this verse comes to mind...I urge you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

On Tuesday, the day of President Obama's inauguration, I spent the day working around the house and taping as much of the events and celebration as I possibly could. Over time I will sit back and take a look at all that occurred that day. This is the first time in my adult life I have been interested in a Presidential Inauguration. I heard various people either attending the inauguration itself or an inaugural celebration make this same comment "first time to pay attention to an inauguration" throughout the day.

I did take time to watch the live broadcast of the inauguration, and along with Obama's speech, my favorite part was the benediction given by Reverend Joseph Lowery, especially his final words..."in the joy of a new beginning we ask you to help us work for that day when the black will not be asked to get back, when the brown can stick around, when the yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man, and when the white will embrace what is right..."


Link to the above video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Il9r-VSu9g

In 2006, following a discussion we had about past relationships, a co-worker (from Kenya) recommended I read a book written by Barack Obama. I had never heard of Barack Obama, who in 2006 was an Illinois senator, and also happened to be bi-racial with an African father. The book my co-worker wanted me to read was Dreams from My Father. She told me I would find this man's experience with his African roots informative and helpful in answering some of my own personal questions about a certain friend of mine. I once cared deeply for a fellow student, a Kenyan, I met at Oral Roberts University in 1984. Much of who I am today and how I look at the world was influenced by this friend, a man of great intelligence and compassion, whom I admired and loved over a span of ten years or so. I was amazed to discover that Barack's father and my friend were from basically the same area of Kenya. This discovery peaked my curiousity about the father's life in Kenya and, also, what Barack's perspective and experience was when he met his family and the people living in Nairobi and the area around Lake Victoria. So I soon purchased a copy and began my own emotional journey with this memoir.

It took me "forever" (or so it seemed) to read it. Many times I had to lay the book down, when what I read struck a nerve of pain, extreme discomfort, or regret. Why would I experience this kind of reaction to what I was reading? I am a caucasian woman who gave birth to a bi-racial child seventeen years ago, and for various reasons I chose not to parent my child, but instead relinquished my parental rights, allowing my daughter to be adopted (fyi: my friend spoken of above was not the father of my child). Through an open adoption I have an ongoing relationship with my daughter who has been raised in a caucasian home. My daughter is amazingly resilient and enthusiastic about her future, yet aware of some of the realities/ prejudices she may face as a bi-racial, "black women" in our society. Watching Barack Obama's journey gives me hope for her, though she has yet to fully grasp the significance of what has occurred. I think reading this memoir dug up again and again the losses and failures in my life...what my life could have been like raising my daughter compared to the life I now live simply as "the birthmother"...each day, month, year that passes I know that I have missed out on so many of the details of my daughter's life. Barack's accounts of his relationship with his mother and how it differed with his father, the closeness and the separation, and of his struggles in coming to terms with his bi-racial, African and American heritages in the context of "life as a black man in America", tapped a deep well of pain in me and often left me with an overwhelming sadness. When I reached these points in his story I would take a break and turn to more light-hearted reading.

Time and again I picked up Dreams from My Father and started reading only to discover another account that would strike an uncomfortable discontent in me causing me once again put the book back on my bookshelf. As the final months of the 2008 election drew near, I finally pushed my way through to the end of Barack's memoir. I was surprised by how hard this book was for me to digest emotionally. I'm not sure Barack's story provided the answers to the questions I was originally seeking in regards to my Kenyan friend, but it did provide interesting insight into the thoughts and experiences of this one man. Maybe I will have to someday visit Kenya and the Lake Victoria region myself in order to find the answers I am seeking and come to a deeper understanding of my old friend.

Barack did not write a flowery account of his life, and at times the inner turmoil/struggle he describes is intense. Somehow, though, he was able to rise above his many losses and struggles and "challenge/change the world within himself and around him". I feel that if somehow I can learn from the man, Barack Obama (who happens to now be our President)...how to live my life this way-not settle for status-quo, but determine what changes I can most effectively pursue in my own life and the world around me, and understand the plan and purpose of my life-I will be eternally grateful to him and to God.

If you have not read Barack Obama's book Dreams from My Father, I encourage you to pick up a copy (there are probably lots available for little $ at http://www.amazon.com/).

The parts of Dreams from My Father that spoke to me the loudest?

*Barack's accounts of his mother and her second husband, Lolo Soetoro, and their life in Indonesia

*Barack's work as a community organizer in Chicago

*Barack's visit to Kenya and his inner struggles between "feeling at home" and learning about all the "family drama"-trying to piece it all together and determine how/where he fits into his father's family and legacy

(In days ahead I will spend a bit of time commenting about the three areas from Barack's memoir that spoke to me the most. )

Today on the Diane Rehm show on the second hour (11:00), she and several professionals from various backgrounds discussed Barack Obama's memoir Dreams from My Father. Their discussion is interesting and if you don't see yourself reading the book, you can pick up a sense of Barack Obama...the man, from this show.

Check it out at http://wamu.org/programs/dr/09/01/22.php#24505

While typing up this post, another bible verse also keeps coming to mind...Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. (Ephesians 4:20-21)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Who are we?????

Traveling across time
to be where
hope's resolve
casts itself
upon a sea swelling
awaiting history
Those cold shivers
threaten to undo one's longing
to be present
at such a time as this
such rapt attention
all around the world
just to see
what it is that abounds
in Washington D.C.
2009 begins a new era
we will see
the good and the bad
of one man
just a man is he
and so he, too,
will succeed
and so may we
the people of this nation
and yes stumble on days...
as we make our way
along this path we have chosen
or has it chosen us?
Well i say
it's about time
for all to finally awaken
and be shaken
It's time to know
it truly is not
about the color of the skin
of man or woman or child
but what matters most
is the content of our character
as we think and love
and live and struggle
and believe
Who are we?
tkaeu 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Keep moving forward America

In remembrance of Martin Luther King, Jr., his life, his calling, his mission...

At the time of his assassination in April 1968, he with the the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and various other organizations were embarking upon the 2nd phase of their mission...addressing POVERTY IN AMERICA. Many people may believe that the Civil Rights Movement accomplished it's final goal with the passage of the Civil Right's Act in 1964, but truly that was only a beginning. Other areas of injustice in America needed to be addressed and changed.

The following information from Wikipedia sheds some light on what else Martin Luther King, Jr. felt and believed in his heart and mind for the "often invisible people" of our nation.
(the link is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King,_Jr)


In 1968, King and the SCLC (Southern Christian Leadership Conference) organized the "Poor People's Campaign" to address issues of economic justice. The campaign culminated in a march on Washington, D.C. demanding economic aid to the poorest communities of the United States. King traveled the country to assemble "a multiracial army of the poor" that would march on Washington to engage in nonviolent civil disobedience at the Capitol until Congress created a bill of rights for poor Americans.



King and the SCLC called on the government to invest in rebuilding America's cities. He felt that Congress had shown "hostility to the poor" by spending "military funds with alacrity and generosity". He contrasted this with the situation faced by poor Americans, claiming that Congress had merely provided "poverty funds with miserliness". His vision was for change that was more revolutionary than mere reform: he cited systematic flaws of "racism, poverty, militarism and materialism", and argued that "reconstruction of society itself is the real issue to be faced".


From the Emancipation Proclamation ...
Though the Emancipation Proclamation had been issued on September 22, 1862, with an effective date of January 1, 1863, it had minimal immediate effect on most slaves’ day-to-day lives, particularly in Texas, which was almost entirely under Confederate control.



Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865,
the day Union General Gordon Granger and 2,000 federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas, to take possession of the state and enforce the emancipation of its slaves. Legend has it while standing on the balcony of Galveston’s Ashton Villa, Granger read the contents of “General Order No. 3”:



“The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired labor. The freedmen are advised to remain quietly at their present homes and work for wages. They are informed that they will not be allowed to collect at military posts and that they will not be supported in idleness either there or elsewhere.”



T
hat day has since become known as Juneteenth, a name derived from a portmanteau of the words June and nineteenth. Former slaves in Galveston rejoiced in the streets with jubilant celebrations. Juneteenth celebrations began in Texas the following year. Across many parts of Texas, freed people pooled their funds to purchase land specifically for their communities’ increasingly large Juneteenth gatherings — including Houston's Emancipation Park,Mexia's Booker T. Washington Park, and Emancipation Park in Austin. Juneteenth celebrations include a wide range of festivities, such as parades, street fairs, cookouts, or park parties and include such things as music and dancing or even contests of physical strength and intellect.


to the accomplishments of the Civil Rights Movement under Martin Luther King's leadership...



to the election of Barack Obama (African American, biracial, man of color, black man) as President of the United States of America...


... we continue on our journey towards one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Thinking of this statement from our Declaration of Independence...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

I think if Martin Luther King, Jr. were still alive today, he would say we have much yet to accomplish. Yes! We have made progress, but if we simply compare our current state to our past failures, we will become complacent. Instead let us continue to look inward at the state of our hearts, and outward at our attitudes and actions towards those struggling around us. Let us not turn a deaf ear and a hardened heart to what overwhelms us, but continue to come together as diverse peoples, seeking to understand one another and work together, as a neighborhood, a community, a nation, to achieve fulfillment of dreams for all.

I believe much of what Barack Obama envisions for "change in America" speaks to the 2nd phase of the Civil Right's Movement...addressing the issue of poverty and reducing the disparity felt by many citizens living in our nation.




To read about/hear what people across America are saying about the state of our nation and their ideas for change, check out the following link: http://citizensbriefingbook.change.gov/home

I often struggle inwardly with what our Declaration of Independence states about freedom, equality, and human rights, and how this truly plays out in everyday life. Slogans clearly heard are: "The United States of America, where anyone can be whatever they want to be!" "America-where one has only to succeed by hard work and "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps!" I believe that achieving personal success or accomplishing one's dreams is much more complicated than simply finding the "inner motivation" and focusing on "individual achievement".

Our forefathers fought to throw off the tyranny of the British government, only to turn around and, on many levels, ignore the rights of many people who did not have the resources and wealth to protect themselves and/or their land. And though we have "officially abolished slavery", enslavement in one subtle form or another still exists today in America, through our prison system, welfare system, drug addictions/War on Drugs, etc. Working in various capacities of social work over the last eighteen years, I have witnessed first hand the disparity people face. In race relations, economic status, our healthcare system, our approach to education and other areas, we have much yet to accomplish.

While attempting to help a young couple in 2005 break off generational chains of "homelessness, poverty, abuse, and drug addiction", I witnessed a huge chasm between desire, ability, opportunity, and achievement. On July 4th, 2005, thinking about this couple's heart wrenching struggle to survive and to change, and the struggles of so many through the years who have not seen the fulfillment of their hopes and dreams, I voiced my frustration about "freedom in our nation" through this piece...

Fourth of July Cry

Empty promises
It’s what you represent

Oppression
The system
carrying on
the virus
of oppression

slavery…
modern day
Infected
raw, sore
and bleeding

Offering up
the broken
the wounded
Spirits collapse
under it’s weight

A mindset of oppression
It’s what you represent.

Empty promises
Land of opportunity
Broken bottles
Littered sidewalks
The American dream

Hungry mouths
Homeless shelters
What about the empty promises?
A hand up
A hand out

Catch 22
Breeding dependence?
Generational curses
Land of the free
Jails overflowing

Drug infested neighborhoods
Home of the brave
Gun wars
Drive by shootings
Birthday parties

Death, blood, violence
Soldier fighting in Iraq
For more
Empty promises
Death, blood, violence

Twisted logic
Kill or be killed
Poisoned souls
Tortured minds
Heaven or hell

America the beautiful
Boarded up shacks
Cockroach hotel
Amber waves of grain
Freely blowing

Freedom, my ass
America God bless
Oh shed your grace on me
Death, blood, violence
People swinging from trees

Stolen land
Crushed spirits
Sidewalk sleeper
Whisky bottle in hand
Empty promises

Tkaeu
2005

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation

where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,

but by the content of their character.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

My favorite mural in Cottonwood, Arizona taken 2007


When we let freedom ring,

when we let it ring from every tenement and every hamlet,

from every state and every city,

we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children,

black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,

will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual,

"Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Storytelling of the old west...


Community mural in the "historic" downtown area of Cottonwood. A story is waiting to be told in this artistic rendition of the "old west"...the history and rich culture of this area...Yavapai County.
(The above pic and the italicized information below are from the following link: http://www.artconnections.org/html/participation.html)

Artists and community businesses contributed talents and resources to nurture Cottonwood’s first public mural. Artists spent 4 weeks designing the mural. Ideas and images came from thoughts of community member’s strong connections to their environment, their history and their diverse cultures.

Artists involved are Carol Hildebrand, Diana Holladay, Catherine Beason, Theresa Shostakovich, Carl Cambio, Janet Baser, Sallie Martinez, Serafina Raphael, Mina Shore, Jessica Sierra, Don Decker and Kathy Englund. All artists volunteered to work on the design committee because they felt this was a worthwhile project for the community. Sherwin Williams donated gallons of paint, Focus on Graphics and Copy Max helped get brochures and letters printed. Leslie Owen and Rebecca Baker of Buena Vista Children’s Services partnered and many of their students in the Discovery Connection helped with the design.

"In 1874 soldiers from Camp Verde were stationed at an adobe house, but at that time there was no name for the present Cottonwood (where the house existed). As settlers moved in and the community developed, it took its name from a circle of sixteen large cottonwoods growing about one-quarter of a miles away from the Verde River. The place was unhealthful. Malaria and dysentry were severe problems as mosquitos rose in thick clouds from stagnant pools left by receding floods. Such quinine as was available sold at $4.00 an ounce and could be bought only when it was in surplus at Camp Verde. Nevertheless, by 1879, several families had settled there, including the Nichols, Van Deerens, Hawkins, and Strahans. It is a curious fact that eact family had nine children. The adobe building formerly used by soldiers became a school house. Today Cottonwood is a thriving community. P.O. est March 6, 1879, William H. Michael pm.
(info from following link: http://jeff.scott.tripod.com/cottonwood.html)
Tuzigoot National Monument was created to preserve the Indian culture of the area. The name Tuzigoot is an Apache word for “crooked water”. The site covers 42 acres and has so many things to offer its visitors.

The Sinaguan Indians built Tuzigoot in 1000 A.D. The Sinagua Indians worked the land and traded with other cultures. Then in 1400 the Indians just vanished. Tuzigoot is the remains of their village or pueblo. The pueblo includes 110 rooms with second and third story structures. (This information and much more on the Tuzigoot National Monument is found at this site: http://www.arizonan.com/parks/tuzigoot-national-monument/)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bourque and Gibran

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet
and the winds long to play with your hair.
–Kahlil Gibran
Cottonwood Mural 2007

Check out the details of this mural in my close up shots shown below.
I'm including a poem that I believe relates to the images in the mural
and to the artist's purpose in her work.

I found this mural on the side of the Goodwill building in downtown Cottonwood.

The mural artist is Joan Bourque and these websites:

http://www.artfuloceans.org/html/murals.html

http://www.artconnections.org/html/joan_bourque.html

provide more examples of her works and explains the focus and intent of her art projects.

The Children
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said:Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.They come through you, but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
-Kahlil Gibran


I found the above poem on the following website: http://colleenscorner.com/Poetry7.html. She shares quite a few poems that are worth remembering. Thanks Colleen!

About blogging: You know it never ceases to amaze me how much you can learn on-line about total strangers, who don't seem so much like "strangers" after you read so many details about their personal lives. The crazy thing about the blogging world is that for bloggers and those who read blogs...you could possibly learn more about "perfect strangers" than you may ever know about your own family members, particularly if you do not share proximity. I wonder what this says about us in this internet age? Well this strange phenomenon could be eliminated if everybody just blogged, sooo EVERYBODY GET BLOGGING! RIGHT?!? :)

Oh, and something else about Collen (mentioned above)...well, she is a terrific photographer! Check her pics out at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clinker/ It's totally worth the click.

Life can be full of one great discovery after another!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Change or bust?

In the upcoming week, many eyes will be on Washington D.C. in anticipation of the 2009 presidential inauguration. With the cold fronts sweeping down from Canada, I can imagine that those attending will be braving very cold weather to be present at this event. There may be lots of "dancing for joy" just to keep somewhat warm. Or maybe they can pack together like penguins and take turns moving from the inside to the outside. Needless to say, I'm kinda envious of those who will be traveling to the capital. It will be an exciting time!! Instead I will be in 60-70 degree weather here in Phoenix, Arizona, watching the ceremonies on TV in my home, while millions will be in D.C. attending various inaugural events, and at the Capitol on January 20th, despite the below-freezing outdoor temps, to celebrate this historic moment. Considering I don't like freezing...brrrrr...or huge throngs of people (yuck!), I think I'll be right where I need to be. Just the same-I'll still wonder what it would have been like to attend Barack Obama's inauguration.

Looking for "classic information" about the White House and the presidential team? Here it is: http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/

Following the inauguration though, things will definitely heat up for Barack Obama and his Cabinet members. Is "change" really about to happen? How much "change" can truly occur during Barack Obama's current four year term? Will we, as individuals, be challenged, also, by our new president, to participate in bringing about "change" we desire? I think we all wonder just what "change" will look like under Barack Obama's leadership.

The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.
Charles Kettering
Mural in Cottonwood, AZ 2007
One of my hobbies is taking pictures of murals. Above is a mural or "wall art" pic I took during a visit to Cottonwood, Arizona in 2007. (This week I will feature murals from my Cottonwood collection.) I think this mural is fitting for the upcoming week with Barack Obama transitioning from president-elect to United States President. What is my take on this mural's connection to current events? Our new President's focus will be on the condition of the United States and it's role in the world, and much of the world's focus will be on our new President hoping he will effect positive progress. Of course, the "true message" of this Cottonwood mural is in "the eye of the beholder".

Cottonwood (the home of the above mural) is a bustling little town/city of 10,000+ in Yavapai County, situated between Prescott and Sedona-two popular Arizona vacation spots. I usually take Route 260 on my way to Sedona, which takes me right through Cottonwood and past turn-offs for Cornville and Page Springs. These days my visits to the area are recreational, but my first trip to Cottonwood, in 1991, was work-related. At the time I was working as a perinatal case manager and had the opportunity to visit young expectant women throughout Northern and Central Arizona. My job was to assess their medical needs and educate them on having a healthy pregnancy and how to utilize community resources for assistance. The goal of the perinatal program was to reduce premature deliveries and thereby save money for the insurance company. During one trip to this area of Arizona to visit a client, I accidentally stumbled into the Cornville/Page Springs area. It is a hidden valley that is lush and green and beautiful...like an oasis. I experienced an instant connection. Maybe it was the small town feeling, maybe the surprising, unexpected beauty? To this day I'm not really quite sure why, but a feeling of "returning home or to where I belong" is what came over me. At the time, a friend of mine and I believed we would, at some point in the future, be involved in facilitating a residential placement of some kind for "teens in trouble" in a ranch-like setting. As a result, I began saying to myself and others "I can truly see myself living here in this area someday". It felt like my destiny. A drive through Cornville and Page Springs "to look around and dream" was a yearly destination for me for years following that first visit. In the last ten years or so, Cornville and Page Springs have changed somewhat. Lush vineyards now thrive on the fertile land that was once home to livestock and crops. And the population has grown some too. I hold fond memories of this area, but the idea of a running "a treatment ranch" here has evaporated (for a variety of reasons). These days, my plans for the future include residing somewhere close to my daughter. She assures me that remaining in Arizona is definitely not in her plans. She dreams of living in New York City...talk about change!!!

Last year, in a "last chance" attempt to discover if I could envision a future for myself in the Page Springs-Cornville-Cottonwood area, my mother and I took a day to visit real estate agencies and gather information about job opportunities. My mother and I are drawn to the area for different reasons, but desiring change we wanted to weigh the possibilities of relocating. Unfortunately, comparing the pros and cons of exploration, we had to conclude that a move to Cottonwood was not a feasible venture. For my mother, the negative was mostly the real estate, and for me, the negative was employment opportunities. The cost of living is comparable to Phoenix, but not the salaries. If I were to move to Cottonwood, and seek employment in a similar position as I now hold with Maricopa County, I would be taking a significant cut in pay. Not to mention, I found no jobs for which I qualify, paying a comparable salary.

So in the end, I may not ever make this area (Page Springs-Cottonwood-Cornville-Sedona) my home, but it will remain one of my favorites, and definitely offers many reasons for anyone to return again and again to soak in it's amazing beauty and therapeutic surroundings.

An informative website of the area: http://www.gatewaytosedona.com/department/category/VerdeValley