Hope in renewal?

Throughout the last year many "descriptive" remarks have been made in an attempt to define or declare or criticize whom people, from all walks of life, surmise the man, Barack Obama, to be...

My focus in this post is on that part of him that is "real" (known mainly to his family and closest friends)...most likely that he is a man with strengths and weaknesses, a man who laughs and cries and farts and burps just like anyone else, a man who has faced losses and triumphs, who makes mistakes and blunders on occasion, and also a man who has made, and we pray, will continue to make intelligent, determined, passionate decisions to challenge the world around him, as he challenges himself (and us), to strive for more than status quo.

I do not know Barack Obama personally, and most likely never will, but I am curious and interested in him, not just as our president, but as a man. My curiousity about him springs from his roots and his aspirations. I hope to follow his days, as our President, as closely as my time will allow. I know I will have to sort through all types of rhetoric and propaganda and media spin to determine for myself what lies beneath Barack Obama's polished and poised exterior, to determine how he has accomplished and may hopefully continue to (and inspire others to) accomplish "the unexpected and seemingly impossible".

What he is like as a human being...the human side (or possibly spiritual side) of him, his compassion for others, and his vision of "life as service to others", making a difference in the world around us, is what attracts me to his persona and ideals as I'm continually drawn to life "outside the box", despite my own failures and personal struggles with cynicism, unbelief, regrets, unforgiveness, and fears. When I consider the direction my life has taken...I ask "is this it?" Am I always only to do what I think is the right thing to do at the time, only to discover later, that there was so much more to the experience that what I realized or recognized? How much of a risk am I willing to take to see the fullfillment of what I believe are my dreams/longings? How much does my thought life hamper my willingness to live the life I desire?

this verse comes to mind...I urge you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

On Tuesday, the day of President Obama's inauguration, I spent the day working around the house and taping as much of the events and celebration as I possibly could. Over time I will sit back and take a look at all that occurred that day. This is the first time in my adult life I have been interested in a Presidential Inauguration. I heard various people either attending the inauguration itself or an inaugural celebration make this same comment "first time to pay attention to an inauguration" throughout the day.

I did take time to watch the live broadcast of the inauguration, and along with Obama's speech, my favorite part was the benediction given by Reverend Joseph Lowery, especially his final words..."in the joy of a new beginning we ask you to help us work for that day when the black will not be asked to get back, when the brown can stick around, when the yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man, and when the white will embrace what is right..."


Link to the above video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Il9r-VSu9g

In 2006, following a discussion we had about past relationships, a co-worker (from Kenya) recommended I read a book written by Barack Obama. I had never heard of Barack Obama, who in 2006 was an Illinois senator, and also happened to be bi-racial with an African father. The book my co-worker wanted me to read was Dreams from My Father. She told me I would find this man's experience with his African roots informative and helpful in answering some of my own personal questions about a certain friend of mine. I once cared deeply for a fellow student, a Kenyan, I met at Oral Roberts University in 1984. Much of who I am today and how I look at the world was influenced by this friend, a man of great intelligence and compassion, whom I admired and loved over a span of ten years or so. I was amazed to discover that Barack's father and my friend were from basically the same area of Kenya. This discovery peaked my curiousity about the father's life in Kenya and, also, what Barack's perspective and experience was when he met his family and the people living in Nairobi and the area around Lake Victoria. So I soon purchased a copy and began my own emotional journey with this memoir.

It took me "forever" (or so it seemed) to read it. Many times I had to lay the book down, when what I read struck a nerve of pain, extreme discomfort, or regret. Why would I experience this kind of reaction to what I was reading? I am a caucasian woman who gave birth to a bi-racial child seventeen years ago, and for various reasons I chose not to parent my child, but instead relinquished my parental rights, allowing my daughter to be adopted (fyi: my friend spoken of above was not the father of my child). Through an open adoption I have an ongoing relationship with my daughter who has been raised in a caucasian home. My daughter is amazingly resilient and enthusiastic about her future, yet aware of some of the realities/ prejudices she may face as a bi-racial, "black women" in our society. Watching Barack Obama's journey gives me hope for her, though she has yet to fully grasp the significance of what has occurred. I think reading this memoir dug up again and again the losses and failures in my life...what my life could have been like raising my daughter compared to the life I now live simply as "the birthmother"...each day, month, year that passes I know that I have missed out on so many of the details of my daughter's life. Barack's accounts of his relationship with his mother and how it differed with his father, the closeness and the separation, and of his struggles in coming to terms with his bi-racial, African and American heritages in the context of "life as a black man in America", tapped a deep well of pain in me and often left me with an overwhelming sadness. When I reached these points in his story I would take a break and turn to more light-hearted reading.

Time and again I picked up Dreams from My Father and started reading only to discover another account that would strike an uncomfortable discontent in me causing me once again put the book back on my bookshelf. As the final months of the 2008 election drew near, I finally pushed my way through to the end of Barack's memoir. I was surprised by how hard this book was for me to digest emotionally. I'm not sure Barack's story provided the answers to the questions I was originally seeking in regards to my Kenyan friend, but it did provide interesting insight into the thoughts and experiences of this one man. Maybe I will have to someday visit Kenya and the Lake Victoria region myself in order to find the answers I am seeking and come to a deeper understanding of my old friend.

Barack did not write a flowery account of his life, and at times the inner turmoil/struggle he describes is intense. Somehow, though, he was able to rise above his many losses and struggles and "challenge/change the world within himself and around him". I feel that if somehow I can learn from the man, Barack Obama (who happens to now be our President)...how to live my life this way-not settle for status-quo, but determine what changes I can most effectively pursue in my own life and the world around me, and understand the plan and purpose of my life-I will be eternally grateful to him and to God.

If you have not read Barack Obama's book Dreams from My Father, I encourage you to pick up a copy (there are probably lots available for little $ at http://www.amazon.com/).

The parts of Dreams from My Father that spoke to me the loudest?

*Barack's accounts of his mother and her second husband, Lolo Soetoro, and their life in Indonesia

*Barack's work as a community organizer in Chicago

*Barack's visit to Kenya and his inner struggles between "feeling at home" and learning about all the "family drama"-trying to piece it all together and determine how/where he fits into his father's family and legacy

(In days ahead I will spend a bit of time commenting about the three areas from Barack's memoir that spoke to me the most. )

Today on the Diane Rehm show on the second hour (11:00), she and several professionals from various backgrounds discussed Barack Obama's memoir Dreams from My Father. Their discussion is interesting and if you don't see yourself reading the book, you can pick up a sense of Barack Obama...the man, from this show.

Check it out at http://wamu.org/programs/dr/09/01/22.php#24505

While typing up this post, another bible verse also keeps coming to mind...Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. (Ephesians 4:20-21)

Veteren's Day and Beyond

Veteran’s Day…much attention is paid to those in military service on this day to honor and thank them for their service. What many feel and what this day means to so many veterans and their families most likely cannot be put into words…

Two of my brothers served time in the military. I am thankful that they were able to serve our country during times of “peace” and that they did not have to see combat. A close family member, whom we considered “our grandfather”, served in the Korean war (and possibly WWII). He passed away in 2004. Beyond the tragedies of the war he witnessed during his service, and his war injuries, he was able to live a long, fulfilling life. There are many families who have veterans in their family who served during time of war, and they revere and honor those family members, not only for their service to our country, but because they go on to positively impact their home communities in a variety of ways.

But there is a flip side to service in the military, during times of war. Many veterans have mountains to climb when they return from service in a war zone...for some the mountains become insurmountable. So I have on my heart and mind, not only those serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around the world, or waiting on bases to be deployed, not only those who have given their lives for "democracy", not only those who been able to find a path in civilian life, after returning from war and have gone on to live fulfilling lives, but, also, those who struggle with "the demons of war" long after they return. Some of these "soldiers" are a significant number of the homeless in our country. It breaks my heart to think how they got from where they were to where they are today.

I listened to a broadcast on the Diane Rehm’s show (NPR.org), today, discussing the current situations many veterans face: I encourage you to check out this link:
http://wamu.org/programs/dr/ Where will we go beyond Veteran’s Day to address the needs of these men and women?? Personally, my outlook is that because those serving in the military are government employees, it is the responsibility of the government to go above and beyond to meet their needs in a timely manner, which means NOW…not many, many months later. What others, as individuals and non-profit agencies, are able to do to reach out to veterans in their communities, I think is commendable. I imagine it is a difficult outreach (and at the same time a deeply moving) in which to be involved.

Here are some additional links to read more from and about veterans.
http://www.veteransforamerica.org/
http://www.mysanantonio.com/military/33484094.html
The 'Here and Now' broadcast today was also interesting and informative. Link is to the left.

My most extensive exposure to war and those serving in war has been through movies-from "Saving Private Ryan" to "Windtalkers" to "Jarhead"-and most recently, my attempt to read Anthony Swofford’s book, Jarhead. The movies depict war as graphically horrific and traumatic during the experience, but soldiers do what they have to do to obey orders, complete their mission, and somehow come home alive, if not in one piece. Reading Jarhead has been difficult for me, too, due to it’s shocking content (reminds me of when I read A Million Little Pieces), though I have yet to hear that Swofford was fictionalizing his story. I have not yet finished this book and have to lay it down from time to time. My hope is to eventually write a spokenword piece for veterans of war. I have more research to do, though, before I’m able to write a piece that accurately describes their experience.

Earlier this year I heard Barack and Michelle Obama’s speak out on their support of extended benefits to returning veterans. Their comments definitely sparked my attention after all the coverage on Walter Reed Army Medical Center and the current condition of The Department of Veteran’s Affairs. This link basically outlines what Obama says he supports regarding benefits for veterans and those in military service: http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/michaelgottwald/gGgYCg
Whether the next administration is able to reduce the bureaucratic paper nightmare and provide the services to Veterans in a quick, efficient manner remains to be seen. Even though I have had little personal contact with war veterans, I am aware of the difficulties many face in “transitioning” back to civilian life after active duty in a war zone, and am shaken and saddened by what they endure not only in service, but life after war.

Psalm 91, has often been a personal comfort of mine, whenever a friend would take on what I knew to be a potentially dangerous task/assignment …
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of the night, not the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near to you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the Lord, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

So many have died in so many wars…stunning numbers…and each person’s death impacted their families, friends, co-worker, etc. The ripple effect of war may be neverending. Why some men/women are killed, and others live, is hard to fathom...people can attribute many things…fate, prayer, luck, the heroics of another fallen comrade… There are many reasons, and the answers to “Why? may be difficult or impossible to sort out. But for those in service who live, and for the families and friends of those who have given their lives or are currently serving in the military, we can, at least, commit to supporting them, in whatever ways we can not only on Veterans Day, but the days beyond, as they daily face vexing challenges, struggles, and decisions, inside and outside the warzone.

Honestly I am speaking mostly to myself in this post, as a reminder, because it is so easy to just go on about life here in America, when I do not have immediate family or close friends currently in Iraq or Afghanistan, and not truly take in the sacrifices those who do and are make each and every day. Recently a daughter of my long time friend, Chelle, signed up for service, completed boot camp and is currently stationed in Texas. My heart sunk when I first heard she was considering military service, because I feared not only for her life, but for her life beyond possible deployment to war in the middle east. Knowing that she could be deployed within the next year and knowing that she will be working in the medical field, brings the war and it's impact on daily life closer to home. Figuring out how I can support her, and others in service, has now become a more pertinent issue for me personally. I guess, in some ways, that is a good thing.