Distant Shores

What A Voice!

2011-07-24T03:17:00.001-07:00

Amy - rest in peace!

No shame

2011-07-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

Shout out to Amy Winehouse...wherever you are tonight girl...we'll be playing your music...

Missing the poetry and the poets

2010-11-17T18:35:00.000-08:00

Healing Earthquakes...probably my favorite works of Jimmy Santiago Baca. Please take time to listen to the first or last ten minutes or so when you have time...it's Baca reading a portion in the first ten minutes from Healing Earthquakes which I posted back in September or in the last ten minutes, the piece titled 'Healing Earthquakes".

After that bookstore meeting, I couldn't help but write about the experience and decided to post it on my MYSPACE blog...one of my pieces, I believe that was inspired.

Working in juvenile detention I used to be surrounded by poetry and poets - often silent and waiting...for eruption, for expression, or immersed in words of truth and pain and intimacy that allows one to make an attempt to live, to reach in and then out, to heal, to be understood. I believe this poem below does just that. Thank you Rene Aguiluz for this verbal interpretation of Baca's "Who Knows Me But Me".

Vestiges of Fall fading fast...

2010-11-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Yes! Yesterday Omaha, Nebraska

received the first snow of this winter season!

So this is me...just reminiscing

about what's soon to be a distant memory.

Pumpkin carvings extraordinaire!

What my room mates do with their spare time!

Really!! These pumpkin carvings were amazing!

My camera could not do them justice at all!

Placed strategically on the porch Halloween night,

the pumkins delighted the "costume partiers".

I don't usually don't "do Halloween" but I was home alone

and left with explicit instructions by my two room mates

to "pass out the candy!"

So I did as I was told, since they weren't yet home

(...conveniently, or so I thought).

What amazed me was that I heard only one

"costumed character" utter the words "trick or treat".

I'm thinking that "trick or treat" is out

and just "being cute or scary-seen but speechless" must be in.

Things that make you go hmmm..

.-in more ways than one!

-pic off A Zombie Daily

It's amazing what people (alive or dead)

will find to do with their spare time.

According to my brother, OJ...I guess Utica was visited by

a lone zombie on Halloween

walking the streets after dark,

witnessed by many, scared the heck out of some.

(Identity still unknown,

but then I'm thinking it's not unusual for zombies

to remain anonymous)

Oooo...CREEPY!

Relocated to where?!? O!

2010-11-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

I'm now living in Omaha, Nebraska.

I'll leave the story about why I left Albuquerque for another post.

Occasionally Michelle and I have been able to go for walks together...

whether it's downtown or just in the neighborhood,

the weather's been sensational and ideal for being in the outdoors!

I wondered why Michelle was toting along a bag of crackers.

And here I thought maybe Michelle was just prepared

for a lengthy stroll or hike. Silly me!

Michelle is out of crackers...but this little guy or girl is waiting patiently...

and seems to understand intuitively

the potential power of "making eye contact".

Poor little one!

We both felt bad that we didn't have more to feed em,

they seemed so hungry. But there was so many of them

and well...I guess...didn't Jesus say "the poor will always be with us"?

Whoops! A little larger crowd to dinner than anticipated!

I was amazed at the coloring on these flock...

quite a variety too!

Doing what I do...

enjoying the out of doors!

A path in metro Omaha near Stinson Park

There are various walking paths for the choosing...

This walk is Michelle's favorite...the river walk in downtown Omaha

I've given up the mountains (for now) but not the water...

and that Missouri River is one large body of water.

The River Walk along the Missouri River

Downtown Omaha

Getting used to the time change.

I can't believe it gets dark by 5:30pm now.

It feels so early...for a night owl anyway.

Sights of downtown Omaha - O!

Seasons Quickly Passing

2010-11-13T19:18:00.000-08:00

Vestiges of fall

Is winter really just around the corner?

A walk through the park

Little beauty!

Nothing like something white, wet and cold to break a fall reverie!

pic taken Saturday, November 13, 2010

The snow started falling Friday evening about 5:30pm.

First snow this "coming winter" season.

The heavy wet slushy stuff-

perfect for making snowmen, but their lives will be short-lived,

because the snow is melting fast!

I believe I have arrived in a cooler climate!

Storytelling on Sunday - Storyteller: Jimmy Santiago Baca

2010-09-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

I remember in my younger days, sitting around the table after dinner, listening to my father tell stories and talk about his childhood and growing up. His stories were quite interesting, but back then I was so absorbed with my own life as a teen and pretty much focused on my own rapidly approaching freedom and future. Now my memories of the exact details of his stories are so fuzzy, and so thinking back to those moments, what I wouldn't given to have somehow frozen those stories in time or to have taken the time to write them down! How many personal stories are left untold or unrecorded?

As I've begun to make attempts at recording other's stories, I've learned some hard and painful lessons about hearing and recording the stories of storytellers. I've found that when hearing a person's untold stories, particularly if it is someone you think you know well, you may experience thoughts and emotions towards the person that are unexpected. I've learned it is imperative that one listen and write the stories told without judging the storyteller. Once a storyteller offers to bare their soul, you must enter that space with respect and humility, lest the stories be locked up or lost for a lifetime. The storyteller, I highlight this Sunday, often speaks of such reference and humility towards others, himself, and the earth's inhabitants in his own storytelling.

I am easily mesmerized by colorful storytellers as I find my own storytelling so matter of fact. It takes a certain frame of mind, knack or skill to tell a story in a way that leaves the listener spellbound. There is one such storyteller who calls Albuquerque his home...Jimmy Santiago Baca. I've been reading and sharing his works since 2007, mostly with young people in detention. I just recently had the chance to meet him and what an opportunity! Meeting one of my favorite poets/storytellers face to face! The following piece is one example of Mr. Baca's work....

Tire Shop

I went down yesterday to fix a leak in my tire.
Off Bridge Street, there's a place 95 cents, flats fixed.
Smeary black paint on warped wood plank between two bald tires.
I go in, an old black man with a Jackie Gleason hat greasy soft
with a mashed cigar stub in mouth and another old Chicano man
working the other pneumatic hissing tire changer.
The walls are black with soot, brown black dust everywhere
and rows of worn tires on gnawed board racks for sale,
air hoses snaking and looped over the floor.
I greet the two old men, "yeah! how's it going?" No response.
They look up at me as if I just gave them a week to live.
"I got a tire needs a tube." Rudy, a young chicano,
emerges from the black part of the room, pony-tailed and plump,
walks me out to my truck and looks at the tire.
"It'll cost you five bucks to take off and change." I nod.
He tells the old Chicano who pulls the roller jack
with the long steel handle outside, and I wait
in the middle of the grunting oval tire changing machines,
while the old guy goes out and returns with my tire.
He looks like a disgruntled Carny handling the Ferris wheel
for the millioneth time, and I'm just another ache in the arm,
a spoiled kid. I watch the two old men work the tire machines
step on the foot levers that send the bars around

flipping the tire from the rim and I wonder

what brought these two old men to work here

on this grey evening in February-

are they ex-cons? Drunks or addicts?
He whips the tube out. "Rudy", he yells,
and I see a gaping hole in the tube. "Can't patch that", Rudy says.
Then in Spanish slang says, "No podemos pachiarlo."
"We got a pile of old tubes over there,
we'll do it for ten dollars." At first I think he might be taking me
but I hedge away from the thought and watch the machines work
the spleesh of air, the final begrudging phoof! of rubber popped loose
then the holy clank of steel bar against steel and ever gently
the old Chicano man, instead of throwing the bar on the floor
takes the iron bar and wipes it clean of rubber bits and oil
and slides it gently into his waist belt in such a way
I've only seen mothers wipe their infant's mouth.
And I wonder where they live, these two old guys
I turn and watch MASH on a tv suspended from the ceiling
6 o'clock news comes on, Hunnington Beach blackened with oil.
Rudy comes behind me and says,

"F**ing shame they do that to our shores."
I suddenly realize how I love these working men, working in half dark
with bald tires, like medieval hunchbacks in a dungeon.
They eat soup and scrape along in their lives,how can they live,

I wonder, on 95 cents a tire change in today's world?

I am pleased to be with them and feel how barrio Chicanos

love this too-how some give up nice jobs in foreign places

to live by friends working in these places and out of these men

revolutions have started. The old Chicano is mumbling at me

how cheap I am, when he learns my four tires are bald and spare flat,

shaking his head as he works the tire into the tire well.

I notice his heels are chewed to the nails and his fingernails

are black, his face a weary room and board stairwell

of a downtown motel given over to drunks and derelicts,

his face hand worn by drunks leaning their full weight on it

wooden steps grooved by hard soled men, just out of prison

a face condemned by life to live out more days in futility.

I bid goodbye to the black man chomping his ancient cigar

the Chicano man with head down and I feel ashamed,

somehow, that I cannot live their lives a while for them.

Grateful they are here, I respect such men, who have stories

that will never be told, who bring back to me my simple boyish days

when men in oily pants and grubby hands talked in rough tones

and worked at simple work, getting three meals a day on the table

the hard way. They live in an imperfect world

unlike men with money who have places to put their shame,

these men have none.

Others put their shame on planes or Las Vegas

These have no place but to put their shame on their endurance,

their mothers, their kids, themselves,

unlike men who put their shame on new cars, condos, bank accounts

so they never have to face their shame.

These men in the tire shop have become more human with shame.

And I thought of the time my brother betrayed me, leaving me at 14

when he vowed we'd always be together. He left to live with some

rich folks, and I was taken to the Detention center for kids

with no place to live I became a juvenile filled with anger

at my brother who left me alone. These tire shop men

made choices, never to leave their brothers, in them

I saw shame with no place to go, but in a man's face, hands,

work and silence. As I drove away, nearing my farm

I saw a water sprinkler shooting an arc of water far over

the fence and grass it was intended to water-the fountain hitting

a weedy stickered spot that grew the only single flower anywhere

around in the midst of rubble, brush and stones.

The water hit and touched a dormant seed that blossomed

all itself into what it was despite the surroundings.

Something made sense to me then and I'm not quite sure what -

an unconditional love of being and living

and taking what came one's way with dignity.

That night in my dream I cried for my brother as he was leaving

all the words I used against myself, rotten, no good, shitty, failure

dissolved in my tears. My tears poured out of me in my dream

and I wept for my brother and wept when I turned after he left

and I reached for my sister and she was having coffee with a friend

I wept in my dream because she was not available for me

when I needed her, and all my tears flowed and how I wept

my feeling, my pain of abandonment, all my tears became

that arc of water and I became the flower, by sheer accident

in the middle of nowhere, blossoming...

Jimmy Santiago Baca

Friday Prime Time Spotlight: San Francisco

2010-08-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

Here it is...

3 of my favorite spotlights on San Francisco...

SAN FRANCISCO!! WOW!

IT'S ALL THERE!

VISIONARIES IN ACTION,

POWERFULLY EFFECTIVE PROGRAMS

AND VOICES WORTH LISTENING TO!!!

GOTTA LOVE IT!

#1 Delancy Street

Delancy Street and Dr. Mimi Silbert...I have known about this program for about 5 years or so now...this program just blows me away!

Incredible impact and hope for people who are at the end of their rope!

#2 The Beat Within

Ming Toy Lee speaking about events in her life...this young lady has a long history with The Beat Within...speaking to the powerful positive difference this program has on young people caught up by negative influences on the streets and challenged to be more, do more of what's positive and avoid the negative that keeps one in a cycle of violence and incarceration.

#3 Train and Patrick Monahan

Wow! Patrick Monahan! Love that voice! Here's When I Look To The Sky with Train...

(Maybe this town will be my next destination in about 5 or so years! =)

Storytelling on Sunday - A photographic journey

2010-08-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

Mural on 2nd St. and Copper in downtown Albuquerque

My first exposure to wall art in New Mexico 2009

August 2009 ... arrived in Albuquerque by bus and began my trek across the downtown area to my rental car location about 4 blocks away. This was about 7:00am and the streets seemed to be somewhat deserted, except for cars and a few scattered wanderers, like myself.

I was on my way to Santa Fe and Taos to take photos of murals and take in "artistic atmosphere". As I wheeled my luggage along the streets towards my destination, I discovered wall art all around me. I ended up taking photos of 5 murals in a half hour, right there in Albuquerque. I was intrigued.

Graffiti art across the road from my hotel...

glad I took the photos when I did as they no longer exist...

new photos have taken their place.

I soon found out that wall art was a norm along Route 66 and definitely got swept up in the glory of it all. Photo after photo, and I was hooked.

Wall art on Nob Hill in UNM area, Route 66

As I was saying my plan for August 9th and 10th, 2009 in New Mexico was actually to spend the majority of my time in Santa Fe and Taos, but I found myself caught up in the art scene in Albuquerque and had little desire to leave. Finally Albuquerque had gotten my attention, once again.

All up and down Route 66/Central I traveled taking photo after photo in the UNM/Nob Hill area. I liked the town, the weather (which was hot in the day, but cool in the evenings in August) and the art. I could not get over all the art. Wow! Compared to Phoenix, this town seemed to celebrate its wall artists.

It seemed Albuquerque had a hand in rearranging my plans this trip. Who would have imagined that 23 years later we'd have so many interests in common? Hmmmm...the wheels started turning and continued, even after I boarded the bus to head back to my Phoenix home...

Mural on Warehouse 21-a youth art center in Santa Fe

Rio Grande Gorge near Taos, New Mexico 2009

Oh, and by the way, I did eventually get to northern New Mexico in 2009, but my trip to Santa Fe and Taos was somewhat inconsequential and not quite what I had planned. Once I got north of Albuquerque, my attention turned to the outdoors. By this point I found my mind was saturated with art, and so I was content to just hang out along the Rio Grande and take photos of the beautiful surroundings. I don't know what it is, but there is just something about me and rivers.

Rio Grande River, north of Santa Fe

It is hard to believe that last August I was simply visiting and now just a year later I actually reside in Albuquerque, New Mexico. But then I'm not totally surprised, because Albuquerque has been beckoning to me since 1986. And I'm starting to think she remembers that I spurned her initial open invitation to me...so many years ago.

Here's the story of what happened...

Yes! Back in 1986 - 1987 I had strongly considered moving to Albuquerque. My intention in the summer of 1987 was to help out at Cross Bar X Youth Ranch in Durango, Colorado during drama camp and then move to Albuquerque. I had worked as a counselor at Cross Bar X the summer of 1986. This event had made such a significant impact on my life and at the time I had a strong desire to continue working with Cross Bar X. They were planning (or already had in place, can't remember which) an outreach and ministry to kids in Albuquerque, like the one they already had in Denver. It seemed like an exciting opportunity, as I wanted to work with others in a camp/ranch ministry.

But I really didn't have the finances to follow this dream on my own, and so after a reality check by my father about my financial situation, I resigned to do the right thing and move back to my parents' home after college. Back to Nebraska I went and as I got caught up in life as a twenty-something, Albuquerque, New Mexico became just a fond memory. Whether this decision was motivated out of obedience or fear or lack of faith, I do not know, but I do know the impact of that decision set the course of my life up to this very day.

It seems somewhat ironic that finances played a major role in my decision to abandon my plans to move to Albuquerque in 1987, and now in 2010 (23 years later) finances have finally allowed me to follow these earlier "imaginings" with a totally different motivation in my heart and mind.

Maybe I'm paying for the fact that I ignored her earlier calls in my direction, and then chose Phoenix instead (motivated by love/friendship and immaturity) when I had the chance to strike out and settle in the Southwest. Maybe Albuquerque couldn't help but notice that I abandoned her for another once again. And it didn't take long for me to fall in love with Arizona. Most likely my extended stay in Phoenix made that fact apparent. Really I had pretty much put Albuquerque out of my heart and mind until that fateful visit last August.

So my bubble, of a new start in this artistic destination (with the mountains to boot), may soon burst, if I am unable to survive this current employment climate and land a position somewhere. I don't really want to think that I may have to leave, but it seems a possibility.

Well what can I expect? I thought she'd would be "keen" to see me, but instead I've experienced a surprising amount of aloof indifference since arriving here (most evident to me in the area of job hunting). It's almost like Albuquerque's saying "So?!!" You show up after all this time and want me to welcome you with open arms?! Hmmph! Well I just don't know!" Sometimes you cannot convince a place or person you deserve a second (or maybe it's a third) chance when "feelings of distant rejection" (may) linger.

I can only hope the penance will soon end, and the town of Albuquerque will find it in her heart to forgive me and accept me as one of her own. I may have to put in lots of extra effort to convince her I really do want to stay and that I'm not on the rebound! (...lol...)

I hope to someday soon visit both Santa Fe and Taos again, along with a host of others destinations here in New Mexico. There's Roswell, Ruidoso, and Carlsbad Caverns, and the White Sands National Monument...just to mention a few.

Now that I'm finally here, I realize there is lots of wonderful potential. With so many interesting places to explore, and decent people and myriads of opportunities just under the surface, I'm surely hoping I get the chance to stay and contribute. But one can't force a new beginning, sometimes the seeds don't grow for a variety of reasons. I guess ultimately there's gotta be the "right" timing and an open heart for opportunities to present themselves to a willing hand. Right now I'm thinking the next 3 months will hold the answer to whether I've found a home or I'm just passing through.

I have scattered photos throughout this post of my 2009 trip to New Mexico. Enjoy!

Behold! Creative, therapeutic outpourings!

2010-08-13T02:36:00.000-07:00

When David Inocencio and the Beat Within staff came to Durango in 2003, they shared this writing with us. Though the name of the author was not given, this piece speaks for itself.

A Sound Silence

When you read this

Realize I’m not asking for pity.

But I’m trying to share my experience

As I experience it.

The most influential person in my life

is no more.

And it is because of his death

that he has influenced me so much.

I didn’t want what happened

to happen .

And I could’ve never imagined

that it would happen.

After the death,

My emotions were numb,

I couldn’t think straight,

Eat a meal,

Or even sleep at night.

I would close my eyes

and have images of the night he died

pass through my head,

and I would remember everything so vividly

that I felt it was happenening right there and then.

When I did sleep,

My dreams

were only reenactments

of the night I’d wake up sweating,

Panting,

And sometime calling for him

as he died in my hands.

That is an experience that will never leave me,

The loss of human life in front of your eyes

In your arms.

Watching the last breath seep from the lips

And having no idea that this painful moment

would be relived countless times

throughout the rest of my life.

It seems that my experience

has made me realize life's fragility

It’s abrupt turns

And its sudden ends.

I now have to make the most

of every moment

Even though my life doesn’t seem worth living anymore.

I don’t feel my experience would be different

to anyone who saw those ten minutes of my life.

Who saw those ten minutes go by a blink of a eye,

But at the same time lasted forever.

Those moments are still occurring now

In my mind

As you read these words;

Every day he dies again,

Every day I grieve,

Every day he dies again,

Never more will I be free.

Anonymous

This piece is reflective of the words written and shared by many young people found in detention. They often spoke of witnessing death or the losses of friends to gang violence. Not only was death a reoccurring theme, but such topics brought intense emotions. The kids often seemed stuck in that moment or in the memory of the death, reliving it over and over, memorializing their friend or "homie". Experiencing events such as these often seemed to intensify feelings of hopeless and a reckless abandon of the future, expecting and anticipating a similar fate for themselves.

I will never forget an experience I had with a young man in 2003. While in detention after just being committed to time in ADOBE, he found out that his older brother had just been shot and killed. What added to his pain was that he was not to be allowed to attend his brother's funeral for a variety of reasons. His shock, anger and anguish were heart wrenching. I couldn't help but sob, right along with him while, at the same time, trying to give him comfort and hope.

A Sound Silence describes another common phenomenon in the juvenile detention setting, that of jarring dreams, nightmares and night terrors. It was common for young people to share experiences of intense dreams and flashbacks, explaining why they had gotten little sleep the night before or what was really bothering them or why they didn't want to go to sleep or why they were on suicide watch. They often expressed how these reoccurring images left them with feelings of dread, fear and great sadness.

Due to the nature or content of these creative writings, staff often expressed rebuttals or wariness of The Beat Within. The kids wrote out of their own experiences...and yes! those experiences were often dark and full of pain and trauma.

As someone who has been journaling for years, myself, I understood the importance of these creative writing experiences. Not only were these young people being given an opportunity to talk and share their opinions on a variety of topics and to develop their writing skills, but writing and journaling provided them with a therapeutic outlet.

Writing about one's pain is like the release valve on a pressure cooker, and can ease the tension, anger, or hopelessness, just enough, to allow one to continue on for another day or another moment, without acting out in a destructive manner towards self or others.

My personal and professional opinion is that the presence of a creative, therapeutic writing program, such as The Beat Within, is a necessary positive outlet for pain, anger, frustration and a host of intense emotions, experiences, and thought patterns. In my experience and observations over the 12+ years of working with kids in detention, journaling and creative writing increases safety and security on a unit by providing a value for pent up anger, pain, boredom, frustration, and despair. Declaring this witness again in verses from Hope Found...

Recognizing this truth

and then witnessing year in and year out

the proof

in the power of the written and spoken word

to give opportunity for expression of soul.

Even when to live

is unbearable and confusing,

it’s a relief to know you’re not alone

in your experience and the emotional truth you own.

...At what a mind can become

when the pain is released and one,

bent on restoration and redemption,

finds life not death

Hopefully it will spread

this vision of releasing voices in the west

across the nation,

Stand not in the way of this tide lest

the overwhelmed dam of hate and strife

break and down us all

finding our voices may we stand or silent we may fall

Don’t stop writing beaten hearts,

write what you can, say what you need to say

Write as if your very lives depended upon it

Tkaeu

Tribute to The Beat Within

2010-08-13T01:57:00.000-07:00

In 2007 I was involved in a fundraising project with Maricopa County. It was a talent show and I chose to enter and showcase a Spoken Word piece. I need to eventually get it put on video...maybe a personal project to complete soon. But here it is in written form...it took me about a month to write. When I started writing it wasn't necessarily my intention to put together a tribute to The Beat Within, but being involved in this program was what made me excited and "pumped" about my job and working in the detention setting. I guess it was inevitable that out of my soul would flow a piece that spoke about what was nearest and dearest to my heart at that time.

Hope Found

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

Pouring out self on paper, what is it anyone seeks

In creating verses worth repeating,

could it be the sublime

Accepting the inevitable

that articulate verses and rhymes

Will flow sometimes when I least expect it,

in hard times

When the emotions I carry within

are no longer contained

Sometimes I surprise myself,

and am surprised at the same

in others, how in the midst of personal pain

one can be so inspired

Life has often pummeled

a creative soul aspiring

to reach within for a glimpse of heaven

others may behold.

I guess it stands without reason

that talent will unfold

and come to light in dark places,

where you find hearts aching.

Yes, there are people held in prisons

of their own making.

Sometimes these prisons are hard to detect,

others perpetrating

incredulous acts of violence or greed

find themselves

now estimating

the days they will have to spend

behind intimidating walls.

Their desperation found in pent up scrawls

Searing words stabbing paper,

endless verses

intimating deep emotions,

once hidden in foul curses.

For beaten hearts, is there hope?

The answer is found when one reads

the words written by teens doing time.

Hope harvested after planting seeds

of literacy that could lift these young minds

out of the haze

and challenge them to grow

beyond limitations. In juvenile detention,

I’ve seen young people come and go

talented and intelligent,

yet scoffing at education in school,

eyeing authority with bravado

and distrust, identifying with the gang

and drug culture.

Entrepreneurs, in a sense, looking for a quick buck

But it’s when they hear the loud clang of metal,

are enveloped in silence and endlessly stuck

in their own thoughts, needing a listening ear,

an outlet for the emotions they hold back

that once ignored, books and reading

take on new meaning,

relieve the boredom. And the impact

on this captive audience

is that they might just get hooked

on the power of words

and the relief of finding an audience

for what flows through their soul...

so how will they be heard?

In 2003 editors and writers from San Francisco,

visited the Valley of the Sun

and shared their vision and goal

of a publication releasing voices in juvie hall

through paper and pencil,

The Beat Within,

birthed in the heart of Sandy Close and David Inocencio

Perceiving these teenagers

could no longer remain ignored

Beat staff began a journey of exploration,

because they’d been floored

in 1996 from the intensity of emotion sparked

by Tupac’s demise.

Now what The Beat Within attempts to create

each week

flies

in the face of conventional wisdom.

But after witnessing the grief

and widespread loss of a generation,

found in piece after piece,

reflecting the heart of detained youth

is what staff in the Bay

strive for, releasing imprisoned minds and hearts

by providing a way

for young people to find themselves

and to know that they are not alone

This medium of self-expression is sewn

together with pulsating heart

and sheds light on dark subjects.

What Beat writers have to say

is sometimes shocking, and reflects

a view of society struggling beneath a weight

of confusing messages of worshipping wealth

and expressing hate

through computerized violence;

the rich and famous pampering their pets

while returning from war, as heroes, Iraq war vets

who deserve

efficient, top notch medical and psychiatric care

are left instead to face the reality

of Vet hospitals in disrepair;

look into the inner cities,

find american dreams mired in dope

sold to make a profit at another’s expense,

a risky downhill slope

work hard to achieve the American dream…

but isn’t it funny,

deranged that some of our hardest workers

are making

the least amount of money?

Yet we still subscribe to have all we can,

no matter what the cost

And we say the best things in life are free,

while lost

in mounting credit card debt

amidst materialistic wonder

Facing personal lack and faceless existence,

family’s asunder,

teens looking to belong and fit in,

find themselves locked in a cell

Sent to prison for their attempts at seizing heaven

while living in hell

Is it any wonder our young people are confused

and tell us they are lacking in hope,

Contemplating their futures while high off dope

No sense in setting goals, don’t plan to live

past twenty one

Is it possible the ruthless nature

they are thrust into

can be undone

We believe we can contain hate and strife

behind barbed wires

but I ask instead is there a lesson to be learned

in all the forest fires

engulfing second homes up the coast

and mountainous desert terrain

That it only takes a spark, a flame fueled

by fury uncontained

to destroy what we hold dear.

Recognizing this truth

and then witnessing year in and year out

the proof

in the power of the written and spoken word to give

opportunity for expression of soul.

Even when to live

is unbearable and confusing,

it’s a relief to know you’re not alone

in your experience

and the emotional truth you own

I give props to The Beat Within for stepping up

against great odds

Year after year advocating for young men

and women living in pods

of stone and steel, not fanning the flames

of hate and strife, but offering answers to games

of life played out for decades

and challenging us

to open our eyes

and see that our youth behind bars

have a voice and the size

of audacity and talent that when nurtured

with time and direction

may result in a positive impact on a community,

may stun

a neighborhood not with fear

but awe and amazement

at what a mind can become

when the pain is released and one, bent

on restoration and redemption,

finds life not death

Hopefully it will spread

this vision of releasing voices

in the west

across the nation,

stand not in the way of this tide lest

the overwhelmed dam of hate and strife

break and down us all

finding our voices may we stand or silent

we may fall

Don’t stop writing beaten hearts,

write what you can,

say what you need to say

Write as if your very lives depended upon it...

Props Beat Within for each and every day

You give hope and a voice to beaten hearts.

Hearts with lessons of life, resilient,

the words they impart

Takes flight above stone and sand.

Hope found

In being read...heard...

valued...profound.

Tkaeu

092907

THE BEAT (The Beat Within) Goes On and On and On

2010-08-13T01:21:00.000-07:00

I received a pleasant surprise in my personal email today. An email from David Inocencio with a link to this video. Listening to this video brings tears to my eyes...so many memories.

I was definitely blessed to be a part of the Beat movement within Maricopa County juvenile detention. David and several Beat staff introduced those of us at Durango to The Beat Within in the summer of 2003. This was a drastic turning point for me, working in juvenile detention at the time. Attempting to promote, encourage and develop creative writing opportunities for The Beat Within became my passion for the next 6+ years.

Writing the responses was challenging and stretched me, but it was the kids and their writings that kept me glued to this project. What talent! What heart! Absolutely mind blowing at times-the content and flow of their pieces. So much growth and self-confidence witnessed through such an incredible program.

Well here it is...Check out this video on The Beat Within!

SF State Beat Within Video from New America Media on Vimeo.

Though I am no longer working as staff in detention, I hope to someday return to the juvenile detention setting to help with Beat workshops and creative, therapeutic writing projects.

Much love and radical props to all the Beat Within staff, and any and all staff in detention centers who promote creative, therapeutic writing behind bars to give young people hope and a positive outlet while they are on the "inside"!

My surroundings are alive with moving creatures

2010-08-08T21:26:00.001-07:00

Lots of wildlife and just nature, in general, where I now live.

Some of it welcome, and some not so much!

I have seen many bunny rabbits (several around the apartment complex) and others on my walks. They are so cute. This one sticks around even when I walk close by and doesn't seem at all bothered by cars. I usually see him/her busy munching away at the grass in the yard outside my residence.

The cottontail rabbits I see on walks hop away as quickly as they can and will hide just behind tall grass or a rock or brush just waiting for me to pass, so they can once again come out and explore the world around them.

And I have had NEVER-ENDING experiences with bugs of all kinds since I arrived here in Albuquerque...from mosquitos to roaches to cicadas.

I'm not too sure whether or not this little creature (above) is actually a cicada, but cicadas do seem to abound here. I have heard the cicadas at night, have witnessed them flying around (they are a bit intimidating due to their size with wing span), and have seen their left-over shells abandoned on the rocks and on sidewalks outside my current residence. Maybe it is the numerous trees that attract them. I'm not sure.

I don't remember seeing cicadas in Phoenix. Maybe it is too hot and dry in Phoenix. But during a visit to Prescott, Arizona, a few years ago, I encountered a whole park full of these noise makers. When found in large groups, they throw quite a party! What a racket it was and an event I will most likely never forget. The gathering of cicadas hardly made for a peaceful place to hang out, and I made my way out of the area, as quickly as I could. I was fortunate enough to find a peaceful spot later that same day in Prescott along Lynx lake. It was a beautiful and serene spot to stroll. Aahhh! Good memories! You can check out my pics of Lynx lake on Myspace.

I understand that bugs have their place in nature and are extremely necessary for pollen distribution, etc. It is just that dealing with bugs is one of my least favorite things about spending time in nature. I find that I can be a virtual feasting ground for mosquitoes, in particular, so bug sprays are without a doubt one of my essentials when I'm out hiking or just spending time in the great outdoors.

My current place of residence

when I'm not spending time in the great outdoors

Ahh...to be surrounded by big beautiful green leafy trees!

2010-08-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

Looking down into the Rio Grande Bosque

The groves were God's first temples.
- William Cullen Bryant, A Forest Hymn

Something I greatly appreciate here in Albuquerque

are the abundance of huge, beautiful, living breathing trees.

Listening to the rustle of leaves when the wind is blowing like today

reminds me of my childhood.

Hiking in the pine forests in Arizona or here in New Mexico,

or walking along a grove of trees along the Rio Grande...

either way for me

it's exercise and serenity in one...

refreshing and reviving.

There's nothing like trees to give one life.

In the White Mountains in Arizona

Need Some Motivation???

2010-07-16T19:57:00.000-07:00

Man! Job hunting can be a downer, if you rely on the internet to hand you an interview. So when I began losing interest, motivation and hope in starting a job anytime soon, I realized it was time to look for answers. After doing some research into the best job hunting techniques, I found out that I've been predictably "spinning my wheels" and gaining little momentum due to my very actions (or lack of the best actions).

For starters...pursuing jobs on-line only is like sowing seeds in rocky ground. Not only will your crop be sparse, you might even stumble and fall. There are definitely predators out there just waiting for the gullible fly to get caught up in their net. Or I can go back to the vehicle analogy...you'll be left spinning your wheels, going nowhere.

So what to do? Scouting job prospects on-line is not a bad idea to do in spare time, but the true meat and potatoes of job hunting is self-marketing...preparing yourself, your resume, and a cover letter and targeting the companies you want to work for. Not waiting on them to come to you with an interview from your on-line application, but contacting them, and specifically someone who has the power or say-so to grant you an interview. (reality checks from Robin Ryan and other job coaching experts)

Now...the above is no easy task! It takes a serious investment of time, intense mental evaluation and clarification, decisiveness, courage, and gall! Which is why it's just so much easier to sit at the computer googling jobs, posting your profile and resume(s) on job search engines and filling out applications. Believe you me! That's what I did for about 2 weeks with very little turn on my time investment.

The more I searched for answers and read the info out there, the more I realized how much I have yet to do and how to change my job search tactics. There are gobs of books out there offering the ideal way to land a job. If you read a few books or articles by job coaches, you realize they are all saying about the same thing. It isn't rocket science. What they have to say just makes sense. This is the information I've been digesting:

Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton

Over 40 & You're Hired by Robin Ryan

Knock Em Dead by Martin Yate

Ya! I don't believe it is as easy as "1, 2, 3..." but they have a point. I'm not looking for a miracle, but I need to use my brain and be productive with my time. The internet contains a lot of information on jobs, but marketing oneself in person gets people to notice you!

So...I'm "getting in the game" and will be "sowing the seeds" as a new week begins. I'll keep you up on my progress.

Some of the areas are hilly which helps a bit with the cardio.

In the meantime the one healthy thing I've been doing (however inconsistently) is going for walks in the evenings from 30-60 minutes and completing my knee strengthening routine. It is good to get outside and walk to get some perspective. And tonight as I took my mp3 player with me and listened to "Listen Up: The Official 2010 World Cup Album", I felt uplifted and actually good about life. Listening to upbeat, active music with a positive message is definitely a helpful reminder and motivator. We just don't do those good things for ourselves enough!

The last week has been full of cloudy days and very little rain...

don't let the rainbow fool ya!

Ok! Now you try it...listen to this song and try not to move!

Ahhh...come on now! You know that little kid in you is going bonkers!!!

If you still have no motivation to get up and move after listening to music like this...maybe you need some shut eye! Well then...get your sleep on, so you can eventually get up and do something good for yourself like moving to the beat!

By the way...Congrats to Spain for winning the World Cup in overtime!

GOOOAAALLLL!!! This time in Africa

2010-07-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

GO NETHERLANDS!

GO SPAIN!

One field, two teams. At 8:30pm (2030 hours) today Spain and Netherlands will begin the competition for who's #1 in the soccer/futbol world for the next four years.

Me? I'll be following the "play by play comments" on FIFA at 12:30pm.

This year FIFA is where I went for updates and video highlights on World Cup actions. I got a much more in-depth and overall picture of what went on during the competition.

Beautiful country!

Inspiring opening ceremony!

Incredible goals!

Energetic and talented players!

Enthusiatic fans!

That's been the World Cup 2010 competition in South Africa!

Shakira and Freshlyground in celebration!

Waka Waka

Things that make you go...hmmm

2010-07-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

New Mexico...breathtaking skies...

this pic taken about 5 mins from where I now live.

I'm thinking about the choices before me and wondering which path will lead me in the direction I want to be heading.

Hmmm...so I'm mulling over this statement..."If you don't go out on the limb you'll never get the fruit"...a bit of advice Spoken Word artist Taalam Acey passes down from his mother to whomever will listen...listen up! (an interview posted on his blog)

The question was put to him by Greatness magazine about why he left the world of business to pursue his passion for Spoken Word. He says "you can live your life and never take the chances and you'll end up regretting it", speaking to the reason he was willing to take the risk and leave a secure financial situation and strike out into what was initially for him "somewhat of an unknown". Taalam says he knew from the first time he saw Spoken Word that was his "calling (my words)".

Though, at times, his words may sting, I've been taken by his passion and audacity ever since I first heard "There's a market for ni$$as" on Famecast back in 2007.

Here's another intense piece by Taalam...the man loves what he does! I had the chance to hear him "live" in Scottsdale a couple years ago. It was definitely a memorable event. I remember the chills that I felt watching him connect to his audience. Spoken Word is Talaam's gift and he is busy sowing the seeds of his fruit.

Beautiful Music for a World Class Event!

2010-07-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

I don't care what you call...sentimental or whatever!...I like it!

Only 4 countries left competing in the 2010 World Cup-Uruguay, Netherlands, Germany and Spain. No US! No African teams! No Mexico! Aaaahhhhh! Oh well...good action all around anyway!

Check out the quarter final matches.

Intense game between Paraguay and Spain with Spain coming out on top.

Germany and Argentina?!! Is Germany really that good or does Argentina just need to go home and practice...maybe find a new goalie? I'm not sure since I saw only the highlights, but whoa!

Ghana and Uruguay-what can I say but INCREDIBLE GOALS AND SAVES all around! I'm not sure why Uruguay advanced...maybe due to the number of fouls for Ghana??

Netherlands and Brazil...well Netherlands hit the target and Brazil didn't...it's that simple.

Next games to be played are on July 6th and 7th.

A Work in Progress

2010-07-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

Overlooking the north side of Albuquerque July 4, 2010

July the 4th

All across our land there are communities organizing celebrations of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and yet we in modern day America are quite removed from all the events that took place in history to shape this nation.

We know little of the audacity it took to envision a land separate from monarchical rule. We know little of the brutality it took to annihilate and enslave people faced with foreign occupation and foreign ways to make room for more and more immigrants from foreign lands and to build and sustain a solid economical structure for this new country. We know little of the blood that was shed for years after the Revolutionary War right here in our own country in the name of freedom, liberty and justice.

Liberty and justice for all?? Yes...thinking back to July 4, 1776...it was the beginning of many things. On July 4th each year I enter into sober reflection over the meaning of liberty and justice for all.

When one attempts to go back to that date in history through one's imagination...there is a sense of excitement and glorious beginnings, but some are aware that so much more was taking place and would take place beneath the surface of such ideology.

All the people from Africa and various island communities brought and kept against their will to our land for the purpose of slavery were not given freedom until over 100 years after the signing of this document. And it would be over 200 years after the signing of the declaration before any true sense of equality or justice, with day-to-day practical application, was given to most African Americans in our country. Liberty and justice for all??

The declaration of equality and justice for all was not offered to the Native peoples in this country who were tricked and overpowered in order to surrender their lands and lives, as our founding fathers settled new towns and communities and forged into the West out of a desire for power and wealth. Liberty and justice for all??

Removed to some extent...and yet, as modern day voters and citizens, and we are very much a part of what takes place today, and will take place tomorrow and in the future, that impacts what this country is all about...a country that promises liberty and justice for all.

Today Mexican immigrants, without the proper legal documentation to live and work in the United States, face similar fates as states, county sheriffs, and certain communities determine to eradicate them through deportation. We'll travel half way across the world to attempt to provide liberty and justice for people in a foreign land (Iraq and Afghanistan) where we consider the rulers to be tyrannical, and yet, in our own land, we refuse to come up with a solution that offers dignity and respect to a people who have for over a century literally broken their backs and given their lives to put vegetables in stores, to clean our motel rooms and work spaces, and care for our young children, among many other difficult jobs. These undocumented immigrants do this in search of this dream of liberty and justice for all, knowing that they are often used and abused at the hands of tyrannical corporations right here in the United States of America. Liberty and justice for all?

All this reflection could lead anyone who is truly willing to look at the reality of liberty and justice for all in our country to a great sense of cynicism.

So it gave me needed perspective to hear this radio interview from Weekend America: A Native American Take on Independence.

Albuquerque fireworks 2010

Fourth of July

Independence Day,

we show our pride.

We show our pride with fireworks.

Fireworks represent,

bombs bursting in air;

burst in air in war

war for freedom.

Freedom from sacrifice,

sacrifice of blood,

young blood spilt,

paid the cost.

Price paid in blood,

blood spent,

liberty for you,

a man gave his life.

Life lost for love,

love of country,

land of free,

paid by the brave.

Sparks in air for fun

reminder of men,

brave lives gone.

Patriot loss,

patriot pride.

Roger Hancock

September 20, 2001

I encourage you to experience the music and vision of BRUHLE AND AIRO...they are fascinating and offer a fitting message to what this day...July 4th symbolizes...that in the midst of devastation, division, and yes...even deception...there can be those who stand up for truth and will work towards re-creation and reconciliation. Yes...we...the people of the United States of American, and of the world, are certainly a work in progress.

I dedicate this post to my brother, Neal...who has such a deep and enduring passion to spread a message of life transforming liberty to everyone with whom he comes in contact. Much love to you my brother!

Why Albuquerque, New Mexico?

2010-07-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

IT'S COOLER HERE IN ALBUQUERQUE. That is TOP on my list.

Now I have only been here (off and on) for two months and so far in May and June, I've experienced 70-high 90s in the middle part of the day and 50-high 60s/maybe low 70s in the night and morning. It started raining this week and I haven't noticed much humidity. Considering that I only have a evap cooler as my central air, I'm hoping the humidity and temps for the remainder of the summer stay just where they are. One 14-year resident of Albuquerque informed me that June is typically the hottest month of the year. Hmmm...sounds good to me! I just hope I didn't bring any of the hot Phoenix summer air along with me.

The information below is from Uniquely Albuquerque, a convention and tourist's bureau website.

UNIQUELY ALBUQUERQUE: Albuquerque is renowned for having the best year roundweather in the USA.

Summers are warm and dry with the average daytime highs around 90°F/32°C and nighttime temperatures cooling down to44°F/7°C are common, but the low humidity means shade provides ample relief from the heat.

Autumn in Albuquerque is often called "Indian Summer" because of warm temperatures early in the season around 70°F/21°C. Summer still lingers in September and early October, with "sweater" weather setting in during November.

Winter requires heavier outdoor clothing; however, sweatshirts or light jackets may be enough on those famousAlbuquerque sunny days. It will snow on occasion, but it seldom lasts more than a day or two. Instead, snow remains in the nearby Sandia Mountains where it creates a skier's delight. Sports enthusiasts can often ski in the morning and play golf or tennis that same afternoon.

Spring begins Albuquerque's warming trend with buds and blossoms decorating the city in April and May. The Rio Grande weather enhances your afternoon hikes or morning walks along the banks. In just a matter of weeks, the bare limbs of cottonwood trees lining the banks of the Rio Grande billow with waves of green, preparing themselves for the rising waters of snowmelt from the Northern New Mexico mountains.

A downtown mural of the Alvarado Hotel around Central and 2nd St.

Information found on Wikipedia about the Alvarado Hotel: The Mission Revival-style ATC was designed to be reminiscent of the Alvarado Hotel, a railroad hotel which was formerly located on the site. The ATC also features a clock tower, located on the northwest corner of the complex, facing the intersection of Central Avenue and First Street. The Alvarado Transportation Center (ATC) is a multimodal transit hub located at 100 1st Street SW in DowntownAlbuquerque, New Mexico, USA. The complex was built as a hub for Albuquerque's regional transit system and as a replacement for Albuquerque's previous bus depot and train station. The ATC serves ABQRide, Amtrak, Greyhound Lines, and the New Mexico Rail Runner Expresscommuter rail line.

Actually I was drawn here because of the wall art...it is everywhere. It made me think that they are open-minded here and enjoy having artists around. I had to come and see for myself.

There are mountains for hiking...actually lots of places for exercising whether it's walking, biking, or hiking. Of course, these forms of exercise are my favorites.

It's a smaller city, but not small enough really. But I need to live where there are jobs, at least for another 20 years or so, by then I imagine the country will be looking like my kind of destination.

Albuquerque Daily Photo shows the diversity of wall art here. Even with the tons of pictures I've already taken, I have yet to see most of these murals in person. It's incredible! Very talented people living here.

A downtown mural

I found the following information about this mural at RoadTrip America.

FRUTOS DE LA EXPRESION
designed by Claire Bain
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Contributed by Gerald Thurman of Tempe, Arizona

This mural was completed in 2000 under the auspices of Working Classrooms, Inc. and honors the first, fifteenth and nineteenth amendments to the U.S. Constitution. It was painted by: Claire Bain, Gary Sena, Lauren Kostelnick, Antonio Lente, Elizabeth Lopez, Luis Mayorga, Branden Toledo, and Michael Herrod. The mural is located in downtown Albuquerque at the SE corner of 2nd NW Street and Central.

Moving to New Mexico

2010-07-01T20:42:00.000-07:00

Durango Juvenile Detention Facility 2010

GOODBYE DURANGO...ten + years of memories.

I am so thankful for all the opportunities I had to work with so many talented young people in a variety of capacities. And I had the pleasure to work with such a diverse group of co-workers...good times Durango family! I'm thinking of you...and just want to say, "Stay safe! Stay sane! Your skills and abilities are abundant-may they be used!"

My last home in Arizona...Yvonne's garden oasis in Glendale-

home of the delicious Cerreta's Fine Chocolates!

GOODBYE PHOENIX, ARIZONA...my home for twenty years.

Over those twenty years I met and spent lots of time with so many interesting people-children and adults. And Phoenix will always hold a special place in my heart...particularly because it is the birthplace of Laura, my (birth)daughter and my mom's favorite place to be. But the HEAT...ahhh the HEAT!! I just did not want to survive another summer in the desert heat! Arizona is such a beautiful state and I know I will go back often, not only to visit family and friends, but also to visit the breathtaking scenery.

And so...here I am (67 days into my transitional phase)

in Albuquerque, New Mexico

...about 7 hours from Phoenix and only 4.5 hours from Show Low =).

Just taking it all in and finally getting to a place

where my head and equilibrium has stopped spinning from all the changes.

Albuquerque is a mountain community

with the diversity of an urban setting.

I enjoy the artsy mountain culture here,

the weather (daytime-90s and nighttime 60-70s) in the summer,

and the landscape celebration.

So many places to hike, walk, explore and just "be" in the outdoors.

An overlook at the surrounding area from the Sandia Peaks

which are situated on the east side of Albuquerque...my new home.

What a bunch of snollygosters!

2010-03-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

"I say...what have we here? a possible clue?

Could it be the hair of a blue snollygoster or a red snollygoster?!?

I'm not sure how I'll tell the difference really..they all look the same to me!! How will we know who's to blame for this dastardly crime?

Hmph...I guess we'll just have to wait for a clearer perspective...it's bound to show up in a decade or so!

I've been listening to the news quite a bit the last few days, but today...ya today I heard A REAL KICKER in the news!! Here's an "I bet you didn't know"!!

So what's behind Arizona's budgetary problems?? Well...for investigative sleuths out there trying to figure out how Arizona got itself in this HUGE mess...here's another piece of the puzzle... Here and Now talked to Goldwater Institute investigative reporter Mark Flatten about a tax loophole that costs taxpayers tens of millions of dollars a year. You can either listen to the broadcast or read the article. Hearing this was eye opening and mind blowing for me!

Maybe it's just me...but after what happened in the housing market to send the financial market into such a tailspin for the middle class, well I continue to shake my head at the continuous unveiling of "special favors" given to the "wealthy and powerful" in this country. If this is happening here...I can only imagine how widespread this type of practice is across the country.

Honestly it seems never ending...the rich just continue to get richer...NOBODY IS STANDING IN THEIR WAY! In fact they've still got the red carpet. When it's the wealthy who work as our legislators, why wouldn't they pass out favors to like-minded people of the same class. I'm sorry folks, but I don't think it really matters whether a politician is a republican or a democrat. What they do in their legislative processes is rarely to benefit the common man-the middle class/working class. None of them (truly I don't believe a single one of them) is innocent and free of corruption...in some sense. It is just so irritating to hear politicians from both parties speak such negativity along party lines. It all seems so hypocritical to me. And though I wonder "how this can keep happening?" ...deep down I know why it keeps happening!

It takes alot of time and effort to hold politicians accountable and it is often difficult to get the truth...the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It takes lots of digging, persistence, open mindedness, perspective, etc. to get the big picture of what is going on. For everyday people, it may seem impossible to arrive at an educated, informed, "got all the facts" viewpoint. We are exposed to so much propaganda and media spin. I mean I'm one of them (the middle class, I guess) and I'm busy and overwhelmed...maybe pretty much uninformed (about what's going on behind the scenes with government, laws and all that) much of the time. With the ongoing disclosure of corruption in government and big business/corporations being given special favors at the expense of the everyday person working hard to stay on top of mounting expenses, it is tempting to become complacent and cynical.

I try to use common sense, but there is no way you are going to get me to believe this is about good vs evil within our two party system. One's just as corrupt as the other. So what people tend to do is listen to political party rhetoric, pick sides and sling mud. All while the truth of what's going on is watered down and/or covered up. Come on folks! It didn't just arrive with Obama's administration!

This being an election year and all...well mud slinging will be a favorite past time for some and things are bound to get really messy. With so much mud flying, who can even clear the air and get down to the business at hand. Who's willing to forfeit party loyalty to simply "do what is right" for the constituents. There seems to be a whole bunch of people who are suddenly so concerned about "what the government is up to". A quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson seems fitting:

Who you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying.

It is irritating that people and politicians (including President Obama, sadly) are so caught up in the mudslinging against a particular party when their party affiliation houses various forms of corruption themselves. What hypocrisy!

But what can we do? As I need to support myself by working a job and then attending to the things I need to do, and attempt to find some time for the things I like to do...who's got time for politics? Well, unfortunately that is what the politicians are "banking $$$ on"...really who's got time to hold them accountable consistently and fairly. Well it's surely not the average tax payer!

I'm amazed by movements in the past, and even people, today, that are informed and active in attempting to impact our political process and change laws. It is an overwhelming process to me. Props to all who are able to stay well-rounded and informed...not just listening to the nay-sayers or just one political party or the other, but truly seeking out the truth and working to impact legislation for everyday people. I'm not sure how you do it. Maybe sometime in the future I'll figure out how to take on a more active role.

To those that truly are well-rounded and informed, not only about what is going on with specific issues and bills, but about the political process, MAD PROPS TO YOU PEOPLE! You have your work cut out for you!

This post reminds me of a bit from a tribute poem I wrote in 2008 titled

"Hope Found"

...That what Beat writers have to say is sometimes shocking, reflects

a view of society struggling beneath a weight

of confusing messages of worshiping wealth and expressing hate

through computerized violence. The rich and the famous pampering pets,

while returning from war as heroes, Iraq war vets,

who deserve efficient, top-notch medical and psychiatric care

are left instead to face the realities of Vet hospitals in disrepair....

(to be continued...next post)

Life is a balancing act

2010-03-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

life is a balancing act

and to keep from crashing

fatally to the ground

we must practice often

falling, bruised we sit up

broken we rise

and eventually step

out again...

to live.

-tkaeu

Phillipe Petit...courageous, crazy, amazing moments...watching him balance in extremes...

i remember the first time i heard of him...his story was part of the history of New York City dvd collection i watched through Netflix a few years ago...hearing his passionate connection to this time and space event and watching him "perform" on the wire, between the twin towers, myself, for the first time, i cried...

and was inspired...the visuals of him on the wire between the twin towers sent shivers down my spine...

and when the visual reminders of his historical escapade, the world trade center towers, were destroyed, obliterating the lives of so many...i can sense just a tiny bit of the shocking loss that followed...such an unexpected turn of events...relationships torn into bits and pieces literally (it is noteworthy to me that it was twenty-seven years between the triumphant tight wire walk between the towers and the tragedy that occurred on September 11, 2001)...the irony of life.

and then the movie Man on a Wire came out...with all the details-the good and the bad of Phillipe Petit and what led up to the event on August 7, 1974...he is far from perfect as a man, but his courage, tenacity and creative, wacky genius lifts me....and actually reversed a domino effect that turned the WTC from financial disaster to financial pillars...his is one of the great life stories.

It is amazing what occurs when we act upon our passions with grace and even, I guess, a sense of humility...how our actions can so powerfully impact the lives of others when we are in our element or using our talents, passions to their fullest extent.

Though sometimes the impact seems swallowed up in ashes and we wonder "was there ever really any purpose after all" or "what was the point of it all"...I guess some of what we do is for future generations alone to appreciate, understand and articulate.

thinking of human frailty, connectedness, humility, and brokenness, as i am today...it is good to be reminded of stories such as Phillipe Petit. Thank-you Phillipe Petit. You are one of my heroes!

Rocks as storytellers

2010-02-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

rocks piled

high or low

images styled

part of a whole

history, praise

stories unfold

passing days

stories told

-tkaeu

(pic to the right - an inuksuk built by Peter Irnig - unsure of photographer-maybe Peter Irnig-photo on Flicker and wikipedia posted by Boliyou)

Tracy Niemeyer, of Maple Ridge, British Columbis, calls the urge to stack rocks "spiritual".

When I heard this comment on an NPR news story, my mind instantly began to think of all the stories of "rock stacking" I had read in the Bible. Time and time again Jewish ancestors were stacking rocks as a memorial or testament in obedience to God for various events.

These are only a few examples of what seems like countless stories of stacking of rocks I've read in the Bible...

Genesis 8...Noah builds an altar following the flood

Genesis 12...Abraham marks the beginning of the Israelite journey with the building of three altars

Exodus 17...Moses builds an altar to declare "The Lord is my Banner"

Joshua 4...twelve stones stacked by the twelve tribes of Israel after crossing the Jordan River

Joshua 7...pile of stones from Achan's stoning marking the Valley of Trouble

Hmmm...it's funny how my mind works...lol! Now back to the original point of this news coverage...

Attentive fans of the Winter Olympics may have noticed that the official logo of the 2010 Games is a pile of rocks. It's a stylized version of an "inukshuk", the stone cairns built by the Inuit people of the Canadian Artic.

The logo is everywhere in Vancouver, paired with the Olympic rings, and it's inspiring imitators. On the rocky shore of False Creek, near the Olympic Village, dozens of impromptu inukshuks have croppped up, built by passersby. Tracy Niemeyer, of Maple Ridge, British Columbis, calls the urge to stack rocks "spiritual".

************************************************************

This NPR story goes on to speak of one man's perspective on the 2010 Olympic symbol and a bit of the historic purpose of inuksuks. Peter Irnig, an Inuit cultural teacher, explains that Inuksuks are used for navigation purposes or markers for hunting and food caches. Inuksuks are built as one column. The 2010 Olympic symbol (supposedly built in honor of the Inuit culture) has at its base two columns and is therefore a Inunnguaq, not an Inuksuk. In the NPR coverage, Irnig states that "people rarely stack rocks resembling humans, as it is a symbol that someone committed suicide or a murder took place at the spot.

Well in a way, this symbol of the Inunnguaq, though controversial, may be oddly appropriate. Consider, sadly, the loss of Georgian Nodar Kumaritashvili, who "was killed by the Whistler during his training run" just hours before the February 12th, 2010 Olympic opening ceremonies.

The Inunnguaq-a symbol of human death and suffering as the symbol for the 2010 Winter Olympics?? There is also this perspective (simply my opinion)-what of the emphasis on "how many medals each country amasses" during the games, as opposed to an interest in and emphasis on the skill and sacrifice of the each of the athletes who compete, regardless of winning a medal or not? The heavy emphasis on "medals won" during the Olympic games, in particular, drives me crazy each time the games air. Maybe the Inunnguaq is a symbol of the sacrificial death of the human spirit to the god of competition...hmmm...something to consider.

***********************************************

Back to my first point...regardless of the underlying and controversial nature surrounding the 2010 Olympic games symbol...I still find myself amazed at how these "coincidences" (stacking rocks mentioned as something spiritual) occur across cultural and historical divides...events/traditions from different cultures crisscrossing over vast spans of time pulling up similar responses from "us humans"...no matter how different or competitive we attempt to be.

Stacking rocks...telling stories to be recalled for generations...

this post dedicated to Nodar Kumaritashvili

On again, off again

2009-11-16T01:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes breaks are needed...a timeout to get your head unwrapped from all the demanding pressures that "threaten to undo one's sanity". I'm sobered by how many times I've felt I needed a break since I got back from my August trip. Change can do that to you and the changes have been coming at me fast and furious! I can't seem to keep up [and neither can my computer, for that matter].

Anyway I'm going to write some therapeutic free verse over the next few months [when my computer will allow it]. Free verse is my breath of fresh air...my reach for sanity...writing like this provides me with those few moments when I feel most alive...and I am so thankful for the freedom I have to express myself through the written word!

Unwind

I'm thinkin' I need another break from all this insanity.

The mind games and manipulations threaten to undo me...

i look into the future and only see it vaguely

so i've got to hang on for now, because

to jump without a parachute...Hold up!...pause...

Now take a moment...are you about to make

or break yourself? i know i need to think of what's at stake...

but seriously i'm thinking 'bout jumping off the cliff,

not a real one silly, just the cliff of conformity...stiff

with age, my joints are aching...is that lactic acid

building up? do i simply need a good massage to rid

my body of these toxic emotions that lead me to think

that i'd rather take my chances than continue to stink

like rotting meat left out too long...no...it's not over

something new is about to begin...but when?! Stir

my imagination with the winds of change. Just keep

it up and soon i'll take flight. No, we'll not weep,

for change is often the catalyst of renewal,

and thank God i've got hope 'cus i'm no fool.

I'll someday soon wrap my mind and heart

around this one and and fall forward with a start,

past the fear that holds me back. i think, therefore

i regret, but if I listen to my heart, and soar

instead, out beyond the trepidations, i may find

that I can finally let go and unwind.

-tkaeu

(this piece is dedicated to Hilary Phillips-November 2009...

here's believing you'll soar over what's lies ahead

{like a breeze girlie!}

and come back sooner, than later,

to settle down once again somewhere safe and warm!)

I must be a socialist and "horror of horrors" my parents must be socialists too (though undeclared, of course)

2009-09-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

So what about you? Are you potentially a socialist, too, and don't even know it??!! Preposterous??!

Well, in case you're concerned about these questions and/or conclusions in the above title, please take time to read on...I implore you to read the comments/speech below and ask yourself how many times you've heard your own parents, grandparents, teachers, relatives "indoctrinate you" with these very same values, thoughts, beliefs. And oh no!! could it possibly be that even you have espoused the same "political, leftist rhetoric" to your very own children?!!

Just take this following test...read the speech below and ask yourself "How often have I heard these things said to me or have said them to my own children, niece, nephew, grandchild, etc?"??

______________________

Hello everyone - how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I'm glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday - at 4:30 in the morning. Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year. Now I've given lots of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility. I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn. I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox. I've talked about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunity they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world - and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schoools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents, and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that's what I want to focus on today; the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide. Maybe you could be a good writer - maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper - but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor - maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine - but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life - I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of the military? You're going to need a good education for every one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future. You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy. We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that - if you quit school - you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork. I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in. So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse. But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams.

My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in the country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends pressuring you to do things you know aren't right. But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life - what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going at home - that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America. Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory so it took him much longer - hundreds of extra hours - to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall.

And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go to college.

Jazmin, Andoni, and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education - and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself, so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to do it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try. That's ok. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. JK Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you - you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you are stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust - a parent, grandparent, or teacher, a coach or counselor - and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals. And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, nd you feel like other people have given up on you - don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago founded Google, Twitter, and Facebook, and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries are you going to make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you books, equipment, and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down - don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it. Thank-you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama

Back to School Event Arlington, Virginia September 8, 2009

______________________

So what can be said about the comments made to students across America by President Obama? Is the above speech socialist propaganda? An attempt at brainwashing by a man who could usher in the antichrist? An plot for mind control?? I mean the nerve! Our PRESIDENT (not your local sex offender) wants to speak a message of exhortation, motivation, encouragement, challenge and inspiration to students all across America. Such an uproar! Such hoopla! Over what?! All I have to say is people are entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, but I seriously have to question the motivation behind people removing children from school and speaking so adamantly against the President of the United States addressing students. We should be proud that he is willing and desires to take the time to do so.

As far as the comments above about "being socialist and accusing my parent's of being closet socialists". Well...all I can say is that my parents taught me the majority of the values and information spoken of in President Obama's speech as I was growing up. Every day I stand on a unit in juvenile detention, in one form or another, I am attempting to convey the message above spoken by President Obama.

I keep hearing so many speak of President Obama as a socialist...particularly since the plan for him to speak directly to our nation's children. So if President Obama's desire to give the above speech to children across America is even more proof of his socialist agenda, than I have to admit that I, too, am a socialist and so was my upbringing.

________________________

Now before you get "your panties in a twist", I will finish this post by saying "all my comments about socialism in this post" are what you call SARCASM people!!!! President Obama isn't a socialist. I am not a socialist. My parents are not a socialists. Most of you and your parents are most likely not socialists. (Though, I have to admit, that if you really look into the history of socialism and socialist beliefs, IT'S NOT ALL EVIL. Believe it or not, there were even Christian socialists in America and the original pledge of allegiance for the United States of America was written by Francis Bellamy, a baptist minister and proclaimed Christian Socialist.)

This may also be time for some of you to do a "deep breathing exercise", particularly for those of you who have found your heart racing after reading this post. I truly had no intention of inducing heart attacks or panic attacks with this post, but I'm reminded that somewhere in one of my many boxes there is a plague with my name on it "Tammie - Truth Seeker". So be it.

Troops battle not only the Taliban, but the opium trade

2009-09-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

I heard this news story on "Here and Now" today about heroin addiction and found it interesting (considering I work with so many teens with potential drug addiction problems). You may find it interesting as well...take a listen to this interview with Richie Farrell-once addicted to heroin and now a successful journalist, author, professor, and screenplay writer. I am excited to read his memoir and possibly share it with the young people I work with in juvenile detention.

As I listened to this interview, I also couldn't help but think of Afghanistan and the opium trade that surrounds our own U.S. soldiers and most likely touches their lives daily. Hopefully these two stories about Aghanistan opium trade and heroin addiction do not come together for our soldiers in the years to come. If they do...talk about the costs of war!!!

Have you heard??

2009-07-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

Moranda Hern and Kaylei Deakin...have you heard of these two young women? Are you aware of what they are up to?? Well...they are on a mission to provide support and inspiration to young females ages 13 to 18 who are from military families. They are in the process of planning a conference called the Sisterhood of the Traveling BDUs...their desire is for young women to unite, be inspired and to be leaders in their communities. Check out their Youtube video and their project info on dosomething.org. Props to NPR and All Thing Considered for covering this story and spreading the word!

I am unsure how much progress these two young ladies have made thus far, but I hope to make an attempt to contact them and determine whether or not there is any way to support them in their dream to make a difference. I will keep you updated.

You may wonder why I would be interested or drawn to this story...well for a couple reasons...

1)here are two young women wanting to uplift and inspire other young women who are possibly hurting

2)my friend, Chelle's daughter, Hilary, is currently in the military

3)teens doing something positive

If you are interested in learning more about this project, you may want to check out this blog post of Air Guard Spouse, as well.

U Go Girls!!

Freedom?

2009-07-04T05:59:00.000-07:00

freedom-available to some and an enigma to many...

...from whom and what? are we really free?

are we able to do as we please? do we bend

our knee to God or fame or self and spend

our life chasing a fruitless existence only to wake

and find our truth to be a lie? will we take

before being taken like Madoff? or sleep

to never be waken? Michael, what deep

pain were you attempting to escape in this life

and where are you now? what about the strife

and bitterness that breeds cancer and sadly

all the hatred that still lingers USA, while gradually

the freedoms that bring us together tear us apart?

are we really celebrating with a free heart?

tkaeu 07/09

We do have freedoms to celebrate! But we also have much work ahead...as a country and individually. You can't really change a country without people allowing their hearts to be changed. Some thoughts that come to mind:

Respecting other's differences

Allowing others the freedom to live life as they desire

The Golden Rule - treating others as we want to be treated

Yet it is sobering to then reflect on these statements as well:

Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit his very self? (Luke 9:24-25)

...be transformed by the renewing of your mind... (Romans 12:2)

When I feel the most free...

being outdoors.

Maybe this is because it is also when I feel closest to God.

Itching to get back to writing...

2009-07-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Where have I been? Focused on healing my knee, improving my health and my attitude.

My goal is to write more often...but most likely less on each blog. Honestly I think shorter is better! It is just easier to follow. Anyway I'm still attempting to find the focus of this blog...so excuse me as I flounder around trying out new things.

My family is on FACEBOOK and they've asked me to get my own facebook page and join them. I have yet to do so though, because I've already put so much time and effort into this site, my wordpress blog and myspace...now to begin again on facebook?? Eventually I may find a way to take the three places I blog and combine them into one or connect them to facebook. I just have not found the time or motivation to begin again on yet another site. Just how does one manage so many sites and actually "live" life?!? There is much I have yet to figure out in life!

Oh I recently ran across a new musician that I encourage you to check out! REGINA SPECTOR!

Though I am a great lover of music and have at times memorized the words to countless songs I sung in high school age performances of one kind or another, I cannot for the life of me remember the lyrics to popular songs! It drives me crazy!!! So naturally I could relate to the comments made during an interview with Regina on NPR about forgetting the words to a favorite song. (here's a bit of the lyrics to Et pronounced "eat" and you can check out Regina on youtube singing Et on her new cd Far)

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can't believe it
You were always singing along
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can't remember
You try to feel the beat

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, eet, eet, eet
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeteeet, eet, eet, eet

I was amused and intrigued by the free-flowin, yet deep, and at the same time, exhuberant way this musician expresses herself in her words and through her music.

Regina was born in Moscow in 1980. Her family is jewish. Her mom is a music professor and her father plays violin and is a photographer. Her family left the USSR in 1989 and lived in Austria and Italy and eventually settled in New York. Regina began playing the piano when she was young and studied classical piano when she was 17 years old. She began songwriting when she was 16 years old. You can read more about her at wikipedia.

A bit from the NPR interview with David Greene on Morning Edition...Spektor is a petite woman with striking red hair and bright lipstick. She writes about what's on her mind, and her music often defies explanation. But she says that doesn't concern her. "If I could explain every word of this song, then I wouldn't have been very inspired when I wrote it. I would have been more crafty and intellectual," she says. "I would really hate it if I could call up Kafka or Hemingway or Salinger and any question I could throw at them they would have an answer. That's the magic when you read or hear something wonderful — there's no one that has all the answers."

However, that's not to say she doesn't want people to look for deeper meaning behind her songs. "It's not like I have all the answers," she says.

You can listen to the NPR interview and/or check out this video...Laughing With is one of my favorites on the Far cd...though each song has its own unique message and makes me smile. =D I was unable to download the videos for whatever reason (maybe I'm out of practice).

In case you have difficulty understanding the chorus lyrics to "Laughing With" as I did...here are the words...but check out the video because the entirety of the song is extremely thought provoking.

*Chorus*
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

If you think belief in God is a joke...then you've never really faced hard times in your life. Listening to the lyrics of Laughing With gives me chills. It is pretty amazing to think that she is singing these lyrics on mainstream stations.

Ok at this point in the post you may be thinking...shorter posts?!? Well...I've never been really good at saying what I want to say in as few words as possible so...all in due time...lol.

This post is dedicated to music lovers everywhere who can't remember the words to their favorite songs & the subsequent AWE felt of those who can :)

Hope in renewal?

2009-01-22T21:10:00.001-08:00

Throughout the last year many "descriptive" remarks have been made in an attempt to define or declare or criticize whom people, from all walks of life, surmise the man, Barack Obama, to be...

My focus in this post is on that part of him that is "real" (known mainly to his family and closest friends)...most likely that he is a man with strengths and weaknesses, a man who laughs and cries and farts and burps just like anyone else, a man who has faced losses and triumphs, who makes mistakes and blunders on occasion, and also a man who has made, and we pray, will continue to make intelligent, determined, passionate decisions to challenge the world around him, as he challenges himself (and us), to strive for more than status quo.

I do not know Barack Obama personally, and most likely never will, but I am curious and interested in him, not just as our president, but as a man. My curiousity about him springs from his roots and his aspirations. I hope to follow his days, as our President, as closely as my time will allow. I know I will have to sort through all types of rhetoric and propaganda and media spin to determine for myself what lies beneath Barack Obama's polished and poised exterior, to determine how he has accomplished and may hopefully continue to (and inspire others to) accomplish "the unexpected and seemingly impossible".

What he is like as a human being...the human side (or possibly spiritual side) of him, his compassion for others, and his vision of "life as service to others", making a difference in the world around us, is what attracts me to his persona and ideals as I'm continually drawn to life "outside the box", despite my own failures and personal struggles with cynicism, unbelief, regrets, unforgiveness, and fears. When I consider the direction my life has taken...I ask "is this it?" Am I always only to do what I think is the right thing to do at the time, only to discover later, that there was so much more to the experience that what I realized or recognized? How much of a risk am I willing to take to see the fullfillment of what I believe are my dreams/longings? How much does my thought life hamper my willingness to live the life I desire?

this verse comes to mind...I urge you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2)

On Tuesday, the day of President Obama's inauguration, I spent the day working around the house and taping as much of the events and celebration as I possibly could. Over time I will sit back and take a look at all that occurred that day. This is the first time in my adult life I have been interested in a Presidential Inauguration. I heard various people either attending the inauguration itself or an inaugural celebration make this same comment "first time to pay attention to an inauguration" throughout the day.

I did take time to watch the live broadcast of the inauguration, and along with Obama's speech, my favorite part was the benediction given by Reverend Joseph Lowery, especially his final words..."in the joy of a new beginning we ask you to help us work for that day when the black will not be asked to get back, when the brown can stick around, when the yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man, and when the white will embrace what is right..."

Link to the above video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Il9r-VSu9g

In 2006, following a discussion we had about past relationships, a co-worker (from Kenya) recommended I read a book written by Barack Obama. I had never heard of Barack Obama, who in 2006 was an Illinois senator, and also happened to be bi-racial with an African father. The book my co-worker wanted me to read was Dreams from My Father. She told me I would find this man's experience with his African roots informative and helpful in answering some of my own personal questions about a certain friend of mine. I once cared deeply for a fellow student, a Kenyan, I met at Oral Roberts University in 1984. Much of who I am today and how I look at the world was influenced by this friend, a man of great intelligence and compassion, whom I admired and loved over a span of ten years or so. I was amazed to discover that Barack's father and my friend were from basically the same area of Kenya. This discovery peaked my curiousity about the father's life in Kenya and, also, what Barack's perspective and experience was when he met his family and the people living in Nairobi and the area around Lake Victoria. So I soon purchased a copy and began my own emotional journey with this memoir.

It took me "forever" (or so it seemed) to read it. Many times I had to lay the book down, when what I read struck a nerve of pain, extreme discomfort, or regret. Why would I experience this kind of reaction to what I was reading? I am a caucasian woman who gave birth to a bi-racial child seventeen years ago, and for various reasons I chose not to parent my child, but instead relinquished my parental rights, allowing my daughter to be adopted (fyi: my friend spoken of above was not the father of my child). Through an open adoption I have an ongoing relationship with my daughter who has been raised in a caucasian home. My daughter is amazingly resilient and enthusiastic about her future, yet aware of some of the realities/ prejudices she may face as a bi-racial, "black women" in our society. Watching Barack Obama's journey gives me hope for her, though she has yet to fully grasp the significance of what has occurred. I think reading this memoir dug up again and again the losses and failures in my life...what my life could have been like raising my daughter compared to the life I now live simply as "the birthmother"...each day, month, year that passes I know that I have missed out on so many of the details of my daughter's life. Barack's accounts of his relationship with his mother and how it differed with his father, the closeness and the separation, and of his struggles in coming to terms with his bi-racial, African and American heritages in the context of "life as a black man in America", tapped a deep well of pain in me and often left me with an overwhelming sadness. When I reached these points in his story I would take a break and turn to more light-hearted reading.

Time and again I picked up Dreams from My Father and started reading only to discover another account that would strike an uncomfortable discontent in me causing me once again put the book back on my bookshelf. As the final months of the 2008 election drew near, I finally pushed my way through to the end of Barack's memoir. I was surprised by how hard this book was for me to digest emotionally. I'm not sure Barack's story provided the answers to the questions I was originally seeking in regards to my Kenyan friend, but it did provide interesting insight into the thoughts and experiences of this one man. Maybe I will have to someday visit Kenya and the Lake Victoria region myself in order to find the answers I am seeking and come to a deeper understanding of my old friend.

Barack did not write a flowery account of his life, and at times the inner turmoil/struggle he describes is intense. Somehow, though, he was able to rise above his many losses and struggles and "challenge/change the world within himself and around him". I feel that if somehow I can learn from the man, Barack Obama (who happens to now be our President)...how to live my life this way-not settle for status-quo, but determine what changes I can most effectively pursue in my own life and the world around me, and understand the plan and purpose of my life-I will be eternally grateful to him and to God.

If you have not read Barack Obama's book Dreams from My Father, I encourage you to pick up a copy (there are probably lots available for little $ at http://www.amazon.com/).

The parts of Dreams from My Father that spoke to me the loudest?

*Barack's accounts of his mother and her second husband, Lolo Soetoro, and their life in Indonesia

*Barack's work as a community organizer in Chicago

*Barack's visit to Kenya and his inner struggles between "feeling at home" and learning about all the "family drama"-trying to piece it all together and determine how/where he fits into his father's family and legacy

(In days ahead I will spend a bit of time commenting about the three areas from Barack's memoir that spoke to me the most. )

Today on the Diane Rehm show on the second hour (11:00), she and several professionals from various backgrounds discussed Barack Obama's memoir Dreams from My Father. Their discussion is interesting and if you don't see yourself reading the book, you can pick up a sense of Barack Obama...the man, from this show.

Check it out at http://wamu.org/programs/dr/09/01/22.php#24505

While typing up this post, another bible verse also keeps coming to mind...Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. (Ephesians 4:20-21)

Who are we?????

2009-01-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

Traveling across time

to be where

hope's resolve

casts itself

upon a sea swelling

awaiting history

Those cold shivers

threaten to undo one's longing

to be present

at such a time as this

such rapt attention

all around the world

just to see

what it is that abounds

in Washington D.C.

2009 begins a new era

we will see

the good and the bad

of one man

just a man is he

and so he, too,

will succeed

and so may we

the people of this nation

and yes stumble on days...

as we make our way

along this path we have chosen

or has it chosen us?

Well i say

it's about time

for all to finally awaken

and be shaken

It's time to know

it truly is not

about the color of the skin

of man or woman or child

but what matters most

is the content of our character

as we think and love

and live and struggle

and believe

Who are we?

tkaeu 2009

Keep moving forward America

2009-01-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

In remembrance of Martin Luther King, Jr., his life, his calling, his mission...

At the time of his assassination in April 1968, he with the the Southern Christian Leadership Conference and various other organizations were embarking upon the 2nd phase of their mission...addressing POVERTY IN AMERICA. Many people may believe that the Civil Rights Movement accomplished it's final goal with the passage of the Civil Right's Act in 1964, but truly that was only a beginning. Other areas of injustice in America needed to be addressed and changed.

The following information from Wikipedia sheds some light on what else Martin Luther King, Jr. felt and believed in his heart and mind for the "often invisible people" of our nation.
(the link is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King,_Jr)

In 1968, King and the SCLC (Southern Christian Leadership Conference) organized the "Poor People's Campaign" to address issues of economic justice. The campaign culminated in a march on Washington, D.C. demanding economic aid to the poorest communities of the United States. King traveled the country to assemble "a multiracial army of the poor" that would march on Washington to engage in nonviolent civil disobedience at the Capitol until Congress created a bill of rights for poor Americans.

King and the SCLC called on the government to invest in rebuilding America's cities. He felt that Congress had shown "hostility to the poor" by spending "military funds with alacrity and generosity". He contrasted this with the situation faced by poor Americans, claiming that Congress had merely provided "poverty funds with miserliness". His vision was for change that was more revolutionary than mere reform: he cited systematic flaws of "racism, poverty, militarism and materialism", and argued that "reconstruction of society itself is the real issue to be faced".

From the Emancipation Proclamation ...
Though the Emancipation Proclamation had been issued on September 22, 1862, with an effective date of January 1, 1863, it had minimal immediate effect on most slaves’ day-to-day lives, particularly in Texas, which was almost entirely under Confederate control.

Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day Union General Gordon Granger and 2,000 federal troops arrived in Galveston, Texas, to take possession of the state and enforce the emancipation of its slaves. Legend has it while standing on the balcony of Galveston’s Ashton Villa, Granger read the contents of “General Order No. 3”:

“The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired labor. The freedmen are advised to remain quietly at their present homes and work for wages. They are informed that they will not be allowed to collect at military posts and that they will not be supported in idleness either there or elsewhere.”

That day has since become known as Juneteenth, a name derived from a portmanteau of the words June and nineteenth. Former slaves in Galveston rejoiced in the streets with jubilant celebrations. Juneteenth celebrations began in Texas the following year. Across many parts of Texas, freed people pooled their funds to purchase land specifically for their communities’ increasingly large Juneteenth gatherings — including Houston's Emancipation Park,Mexia's Booker T. Washington Park, and Emancipation Park in Austin. Juneteenth celebrations include a wide range of festivities, such as parades, street fairs, cookouts, or park parties and include such things as music and dancing or even contests of physical strength and intellect.

to the accomplishments of the Civil Rights Movement under Martin Luther King's leadership...

to the election of Barack Obama (African American, biracial, man of color, black man) as President of the United States of America...

... we continue on our journey towards one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Thinking of this statement from our Declaration of Independence...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
I think if Martin Luther King, Jr. were still alive today, he would say we have much yet to accomplish. Yes! We have made progress, but if we simply compare our current state to our past failures, we will become complacent. Instead let us continue to look inward at the state of our hearts, and outward at our attitudes and actions towards those struggling around us. Let us not turn a deaf ear and a hardened heart to what overwhelms us, but continue to come together as diverse peoples, seeking to understand one another and work together, as a neighborhood, a community, a nation, to achieve fulfillment of dreams for all.

I believe much of what Barack Obama envisions for "change in America" speaks to the 2nd phase of the Civil Right's Movement...addressing the issue of poverty and reducing the disparity felt by many citizens living in our nation.

To read about/hear what people across America are saying about the state of our nation and their ideas for change, check out the following link: http://citizensbriefingbook.change.gov/home

I often struggle inwardly with what our Declaration of Independence states about freedom, equality, and human rights, and how this truly plays out in everyday life. Slogans clearly heard are: "The United States of America, where anyone can be whatever they want to be!" "America-where one has only to succeed by hard work and "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps!" I believe that achieving personal success or accomplishing one's dreams is much more complicated than simply finding the "inner motivation" and focusing on "individual achievement".

Our forefathers fought to throw off the tyranny of the British government, only to turn around and, on many levels, ignore the rights of many people who did not have the resources and wealth to protect themselves and/or their land. And though we have "officially abolished slavery", enslavement in one subtle form or another still exists today in America, through our prison system, welfare system, drug addictions/War on Drugs, etc. Working in various capacities of social work over the last eighteen years, I have witnessed first hand the disparity people face. In race relations, economic status, our healthcare system, our approach to education and other areas, we have much yet to accomplish.

While attempting to help a young couple in 2005 break off generational chains of "homelessness, poverty, abuse, and drug addiction", I witnessed a huge chasm between desire, ability, opportunity, and achievement. On July 4th, 2005, thinking about this couple's heart wrenching struggle to survive and to change, and the struggles of so many through the years who have not seen the fulfillment of their hopes and dreams, I voiced my frustration about "freedom in our nation" through this piece...

Fourth of July Cry

Empty promises
It’s what you represent

Oppression
The system
carrying on
the virus
of oppression

slavery…
modern day
Infected
raw, sore
and bleeding

Offering up
the broken
the wounded
Spirits collapse
under it’s weight

A mindset of oppression
It’s what you represent.

Empty promises
Land of opportunity
Broken bottles
Littered sidewalks
The American dream

Hungry mouths
Homeless shelters
What about the empty promises?
A hand up
A hand out

Catch 22
Breeding dependence?
Generational curses
Land of the free
Jails overflowing

Drug infested neighborhoods
Home of the brave
Gun wars
Drive by shootings
Birthday parties

Death, blood, violence
Soldier fighting in Iraq
For more
Empty promises
Death, blood, violence

Twisted logic
Kill or be killed
Poisoned souls
Tortured minds
Heaven or hell

America the beautiful
Boarded up shacks
Cockroach hotel
Amber waves of grain
Freely blowing

Freedom, my ass
America God bless
Oh shed your grace on me
Death, blood, violence
People swinging from trees

Stolen land
Crushed spirits
Sidewalk sleeper
Whisky bottle in hand
Empty promises

Tkaeu
2005

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation

where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,

but by the content of their character.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

My favorite mural in Cottonwood, Arizona taken 2007

When we let freedom ring,

when we let it ring from every tenement and every hamlet,

from every state and every city,

we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children,

black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics,

will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual,

"Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Storytelling of the old west...

2009-01-18T01:53:00.000-08:00

Community mural in the "historic" downtown area of Cottonwood. A story is waiting to be told in this artistic rendition of the "old west"...the history and rich culture of this area...Yavapai County.

(The above pic and the italicized information below are from the following link: http://www.artconnections.org/html/participation.html)

Artists and community businesses contributed talents and resources to nurture Cottonwood’s first public mural. Artists spent 4 weeks designing the mural. Ideas and images came from thoughts of community member’s strong connections to their environment, their history and their diverse cultures.

Artists involved are Carol Hildebrand, Diana Holladay, Catherine Beason, Theresa Shostakovich, Carl Cambio, Janet Baser, Sallie Martinez, Serafina Raphael, Mina Shore, Jessica Sierra, Don Decker and Kathy Englund. All artists volunteered to work on the design committee because they felt this was a worthwhile project for the community. Sherwin Williams donated gallons of paint, Focus on Graphics and Copy Max helped get brochures and letters printed. Leslie Owen and Rebecca Baker of Buena Vista Children’s Services partnered and many of their students in the Discovery Connection helped with the design.

"In 1874 soldiers from Camp Verde were stationed at an adobe house, but at that time there was no name for the present Cottonwood (where the house existed). As settlers moved in and the community developed, it took its name from a circle of sixteen large cottonwoods growing about one-quarter of a miles away from the Verde River. The place was unhealthful. Malaria and dysentry were severe problems as mosquitos rose in thick clouds from stagnant pools left by receding floods. Such quinine as was available sold at $4.00 an ounce and could be bought only when it was in surplus at Camp Verde. Nevertheless, by 1879, several families had settled there, including the Nichols, Van Deerens, Hawkins, and Strahans. It is a curious fact that eact family had nine children. The adobe building formerly used by soldiers became a school house. Today Cottonwood is a thriving community. P.O. est March 6, 1879, William H. Michael pm.
(info from following link: http://jeff.scott.tripod.com/cottonwood.html)
Tuzigoot National Monument was created to preserve the Indian culture of the area. The name Tuzigoot is an Apache word for “crooked water”. The site covers 42 acres and has so many things to offer its visitors.

The Sinaguan Indians built Tuzigoot in 1000 A.D. The Sinagua Indians worked the land and traded with other cultures. Then in 1400 the Indians just vanished. Tuzigoot is the remains of their village or pueblo. The pueblo includes 110 rooms with second and third story structures. (This information and much more on the Tuzigoot National Monument is found at this site: http://www.arizonan.com/parks/tuzigoot-national-monument/)

Bourque and Gibran

2009-01-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet

and the winds long to play with your hair.

–Kahlil Gibran

Cottonwood Mural 2007

Check out the details of this mural in my close up shots shown below.

I'm including a poem that I believe relates to the images in the mural

and to the artist's purpose in her work.

I found this mural on the side of the Goodwill building in downtown Cottonwood.

The mural artist is Joan Bourque and these websites:

http://www.artfuloceans.org/html/murals.html

http://www.artconnections.org/html/joan_bourque.html

provide more examples of her works and explains the focus and intent of her art projects.

The Children
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said:Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.They come through you, but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
-Kahlil Gibran

I found the above poem on the following website: http://colleenscorner.com/Poetry7.html. She shares quite a few poems that are worth remembering. Thanks Colleen!

About blogging: You know it never ceases to amaze me how much you can learn on-line about total strangers, who don't seem so much like "strangers" after you read so many details about their personal lives. The crazy thing about the blogging world is that for bloggers and those who read blogs...you could possibly learn more about "perfect strangers" than you may ever know about your own family members, particularly if you do not share proximity. I wonder what this says about us in this internet age? Well this strange phenomenon could be eliminated if everybody just blogged, sooo EVERYBODY GET BLOGGING! RIGHT?!? :)

Oh, and something else about Collen (mentioned above)...well, she is a terrific photographer! Check her pics out at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clinker/ It's totally worth the click.

Life can be full of one great discovery after another!

Change or bust?

2009-01-13T17:33:00.000-08:00

In the upcoming week, many eyes will be on Washington D.C. in anticipation of the 2009 presidential inauguration. With the cold fronts sweeping down from Canada, I can imagine that those attending will be braving very cold weather to be present at this event. There may be lots of "dancing for joy" just to keep somewhat warm. Or maybe they can pack together like penguins and take turns moving from the inside to the outside. Needless to say, I'm kinda envious of those who will be traveling to the capital. It will be an exciting time!! Instead I will be in 60-70 degree weather here in Phoenix, Arizona, watching the ceremonies on TV in my home, while millions will be in D.C. attending various inaugural events, and at the Capitol on January 20th, despite the below-freezing outdoor temps, to celebrate this historic moment. Considering I don't like freezing...brrrrr...or huge throngs of people (yuck!), I think I'll be right where I need to be. Just the same-I'll still wonder what it would have been like to attend Barack Obama's inauguration.

Looking for "classic information" about the White House and the presidential team? Here it is: http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/

Following the inauguration though, things will definitely heat up for Barack Obama and his Cabinet members. Is "change" really about to happen? How much "change" can truly occur during Barack Obama's current four year term? Will we, as individuals, be challenged, also, by our new president, to participate in bringing about "change" we desire? I think we all wonder just what "change" will look like under Barack Obama's leadership.

The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.

Charles Kettering

Mural in Cottonwood, AZ 2007

One of my hobbies is taking pictures of murals. Above is a mural or "wall art" pic I took during a visit to Cottonwood, Arizona in 2007. (This week I will feature murals from my Cottonwood collection.) I think this mural is fitting for the upcoming week with Barack Obama transitioning from president-elect to United States President. What is my take on this mural's connection to current events? Our new President's focus will be on the condition of the United States and it's role in the world, and much of the world's focus will be on our new President hoping he will effect positive progress. Of course, the "true message" of this Cottonwood mural is in "the eye of the beholder".

Cottonwood (the home of the above mural) is a bustling little town/city of 10,000+ in Yavapai County, situated between Prescott and Sedona-two popular Arizona vacation spots. I usually take Route 260 on my way to Sedona, which takes me right through Cottonwood and past turn-offs for Cornville and Page Springs. These days my visits to the area are recreational, but my first trip to Cottonwood, in 1991, was work-related. At the time I was working as a perinatal case manager and had the opportunity to visit young expectant women throughout Northern and Central Arizona. My job was to assess their medical needs and educate them on having a healthy pregnancy and how to utilize community resources for assistance. The goal of the perinatal program was to reduce premature deliveries and thereby save money for the insurance company. During one trip to this area of Arizona to visit a client, I accidentally stumbled into the Cornville/Page Springs area. It is a hidden valley that is lush and green and beautiful...like an oasis. I experienced an instant connection. Maybe it was the small town feeling, maybe the surprising, unexpected beauty? To this day I'm not really quite sure why, but a feeling of "returning home or to where I belong" is what came over me. At the time, a friend of mine and I believed we would, at some point in the future, be involved in facilitating a residential placement of some kind for "teens in trouble" in a ranch-like setting. As a result, I began saying to myself and others "I can truly see myself living here in this area someday". It felt like my destiny. A drive through Cornville and Page Springs "to look around and dream" was a yearly destination for me for years following that first visit. In the last ten years or so, Cornville and Page Springs have changed somewhat. Lush vineyards now thrive on the fertile land that was once home to livestock and crops. And the population has grown some too. I hold fond memories of this area, but the idea of a running "a treatment ranch" here has evaporated (for a variety of reasons). These days, my plans for the future include residing somewhere close to my daughter. She assures me that remaining in Arizona is definitely not in her plans. She dreams of living in New York City...talk about change!!!

Last year, in a "last chance" attempt to discover if I could envision a future for myself in the Page Springs-Cornville-Cottonwood area, my mother and I took a day to visit real estate agencies and gather information about job opportunities. My mother and I are drawn to the area for different reasons, but desiring change we wanted to weigh the possibilities of relocating. Unfortunately, comparing the pros and cons of exploration, we had to conclude that a move to Cottonwood was not a feasible venture. For my mother, the negative was mostly the real estate, and for me, the negative was employment opportunities. The cost of living is comparable to Phoenix, but not the salaries. If I were to move to Cottonwood, and seek employment in a similar position as I now hold with Maricopa County, I would be taking a significant cut in pay. Not to mention, I found no jobs for which I qualify, paying a comparable salary.

So in the end, I may not ever make this area (Page Springs-Cottonwood-Cornville-Sedona) my home, but it will remain one of my favorites, and definitely offers many reasons for anyone to return again and again to soak in it's amazing beauty and therapeutic surroundings.

An informative website of the area: http://www.gatewaytosedona.com/department/category/VerdeValley

Makes me smile...

2009-01-10T20:43:00.000-08:00

Something that makes me smile...

This is a music video of a duet-Vanessa Williams and Chayanne singing and dancing, showing bits and pieces of their 1998 movie, "Dance With Me". The video is fair quality, but the music is maravilloso.

I briefly mentioned Chayanne in my last post. Since I've been thinking about and looking for dancing videos this week, "Dance With Me" came to mind. I decided to post a bit of info about Chayanne, since this movie and his role in it hold a special place in my heart.
His official website: h ttp://www.chayanne.net/
Chayanne (06/28/28) is a Latin pop singer. He was born in Puerto Rico and his family moved to the states when he was a babe. He began his music career in the late 70s with 'Los Chicos' and went solo in 1984. He has released twenty (?) albums to date. He is married and he and his wife have two children. I was hooked after watching him in "Dance with Me". The character he played, Rafael Infante, lives in Cuba and after experiencing the death of his mother, he discovers information about his biological father. He writes the man about his mother's death and asks for a job. The man played by Kris Kristofferson, does not know he is Rafael's father. He owns a dance studio in Texas and allows Rafael to come work for him. The movie centers around the "goings on" at the dance studio and preparation for an upcoming dance competition. It is a story about discovery of self, family and love. It is one of those "feel good" movies-funny, romantic and heartwarming with lots of music and dancing! Chayanne's role as Rafael depicts a man who has integrity, courage, and passion. It's more than just the looks, it's the aura, sensitivity of this man, that is so captivating. I'm not really into the whole hollywood/music star "thing", but thinking about the movie and his role in it makes me smile. It's my birthday, hence this post.

The video below that I chose also to download is quite sad, but I think it again portrays the tender side of Chayanne. Tenderness in a man makes just about any woman smile :)

Sentada Aqui En Mi Alma (Sitting Here in my Soul)
...one of his videos...

The link: http://music.aol.com/video/chayanne-sentada-aqui-en-mi-alma/chayanne/1131339

Oh and by the way...the Cardinals won their game against the North Carolina Panthers...Cardinals 33 - Panthers 13. So they continue to advance in the playoffs. Believe it or not I could hear fireworks going off after the game. Cardinal fans in Glendale (and the Valley of the Sun from the news coverage) are going wild and crazy with excitement!!

You're only as good as you think...

2009-01-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up late, rush to get ready and when you reach for your keys, they are not where you should have left them? You didn't put them where you usually put them, because the night before you had come home tired, and your cell phone had rung and you took the call. Distracted, you laid your keys down, instead of immediately putting them away where you usually put them.

You only talk for a few minutes, but as soon as you get off the phone, you remember what you are supposed to do before bed. You have a project the next day and need to find information to complete the project...information you organized at one time or another and put away for just a time as this. But you can't remember where that place is, because you have many boxes in which you store your organized information. So you spend several hours looking for the information and are relieved when you finally find it, only to also realize that you've just used up two precious hours of sleep.

You know tomorrow you have to get up quite early because you have started a part time job for a few hours in the morning twice a week to supplement your full time job. You're not really feeling tired enough to fall asleep, because you're still wired from looking for all the information and you're thinking about your friend who called you and is going through a difficult time. You then think of a particular piece of music that has helped you fall asleep in moments just like this one, and so you open up the cabinet to pull it out. But that particular music is not where you thought it would be. You look high and low for it, and once you find the music you are looking for, you are ready to relax and get some sleep. Finally you crawl into bed, exhausted from the relentless searches. Unfortunately you are still abit wired from two adrenaline surges and knowing that you must be up in less than approximately six hours to start the next day. After laying down, you get up several more times to take care of small items you've been too "busy" to remember to do, such as using the bathroom. In the meantime, your keys have fallen off the bed, after pulling the covers back, and have dropped under the bed, just out of sight.

In the morning you push the snooze button one time too many, and then all of a sudden you wake up with a start! Looking at the clock you see that you have 15 minutes before you must leave to make it to your job on time. You rush around getting ready and when you reach for your keys, where you always put them, they are not there. You have no idea where you could have put them, you frantically search everywhere you can possibly think of that you would have put them. After 15 minutes of searching, you find them under the bed, but now you will have to call work to let them know you are running late. You're stressed and pissed off because you hate this...you're thinking "if it's not one thing, it's another!!! Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!

Well...believe it or not, this can be a typical day for someone who is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), even with medication to assist them in managing the disorder's effects/symptoms.

The information below gives a basic idea of what dealing with these disorders is like and this information is from the following site: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm
Adults with ADD / ADHD struggle daily with self-regulation: regulating their attention, regulating their impulses in talking and action, and regulating their emotions. If you have trouble staying focused, getting organized, starting and completing your work, managing your time and money, and remembering all the little things in your daily life, you may very well be one of these people.

The chaos of living with unrecognized and untreated ADD / ADHD can take its toll: never-ending to-do lists, the stress of missed deadlines and forgotten appointments, aggravated friends and family members [and co-workers/bosses] who just don’t understand why you can’t pull it together and self-recrimination over your lack of accomplishments.

For the last five years I have attempted to "manage" my out-of-control", easily distracted brain with medication. I have found one, in particular, that has helped somewhat. One positive outcome is I no longer lock my keys in the car, at least once a month. (For awhile I was beginning to think my "calling" in life was to keep locksmiths in business.) Fortunately for me, but not necessarily the locksmiths, I haven't locked my keys in my car in years. And there are many other improvements that have taken place since I've sought out information and help in managing my brain malfunctions.

When I say "you're only as good as you think", I'm not speaking of self-esteem. I'm talking about brain functioning. Alzheimers, dementia, bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, schizophrenia, post traumatic stress disorder, ADHD. These are just a few of the brain malfunctions that a significant number of people are living life with everyday. Some can be managed somewhat with medicine and therapy, others with behavior modification and diet, but some are still mind-boggling to medical doctors, research scientists, psychiatric doctors, family members, etc. The brain is a stunning piece of creation! Regardless of how our brains are functioning today, it is important to stay informed about brain health and to take care of your brain and your body. We really are only as good at what we do, as our brain is at taking on the task we give it to do.

For those who believe their minds are working flawlessly, and have no evidence of malfunction in their relationships or job to cause them concern, they may hardly give brain functioning a second thought. It is difficult to explain to others who have not had to work with a less than "flawless mind" what it is like.

All I can say is it is a good thing when one's mind is functioning vs when it's malfunctioning. The "functioning brain" is even more appreciated when one has been the guinea pig (once again) for a new or different drug for a variety of reasons and is left dealing with a "scambled brain", when med outcomes don't go as planned. Fortunately I am assertive, knowledgeable, and self-aware enough to know when to put my foot down and say "no" to more experimentation and ask for what I need, and my current psychiatrist is "respectful and mindful" of patient personal experience, deduction and conclusion/input. I've been reminded, in the last four months or so, that in order to have a postive outcome in dealing with almost anyone in the medical field, one has to be assertive, persistent, and extremely informed.

Over the years I have read various information on ADD and ADHD. Dr. Daniel Amen is one of the many who has written books on dealing with ADD/ADHD. He has done considerable research in these areas and other areas of brain functioning and recently has been doing lectures on brain health to everyone who will listen. Here is a link to his website... http://www.amenclinics.com/my-brain-health/ The information provided includes many helpful reminders of what we can do to take care of our body and our brain.

The dance video today is ball room dancing - The Cha Cha Cha. Ball room dancing...the costumes and the dance moves are breathtaking. One of my favorite movies that includes ball room dancing is "Dance With Me" with Vanessa Williams and the gorgeous Chayanne.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3sRYp9HxEk&feature=related

Little Jonathan (one of my nephews) turned two years old on January 8th. I can't help but remember his birthday, as it is so close to my own. He shares his birthdate with Elvis, so I just had to download a couple of kids doing Elvis impersonations. I'm going to download one elvis video and just include the link to the other...

Link to another young Elvis singer and dancer...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3sqEdVHiY&feature=related

Unbeknowst to my brother and his wife, my secret harbored hope is that Jonathan will be a music fanatic. Coming into the world on Elvis's birthday...I think it's possibly a given! :)